Some fathers in T&T are "initiating" their daughters into sex. This startling revelation was made by social activist Sister Marie Clarke Paul, as she spoke of the increasing number of incest cases in south Trinidad. For decades, social groups such as the T&T Coalition Against Domestic Violence, National Family Unit and social workers have been working with victims of child abuse and incest. Many of the children, however, fall through the cracks. Some commit suicide. Others run away from home and find themselves at the mercy of drug dealers who offer them quick money in return for sexual favours. Many of them become homosexuals, or are sexually deviant.
With rampant poverty, depression, drug use and alcoholism, more incest, rape and child abuse cases are being reported to the police. Statistics from the T&T Police Service show a total of 161 cases of incest and rape occurring between January to April this year. Police said in one case, a man had sex with his two daughters aged 13 and 14, and made a video of it. He was later arrested and the matter is before the court. Paul, who is on the board of the Eternal Light Community, said children who are sexually molested by their relatives grow up disturbed.
"Children are faced with so many unsettling situations...The people who are supposed to love them, their own fathers, uncles, aunts and stepfathers molest them," she said. "These days it is not just a male and female molestation...It is male-to-male abuse." In some cases, Paul said, young abused girls who go to their mothers for help, are told to shut up. "I have even heard a father say that he should be the one to show his daughter how to have sex," Paul revealed. Saying there was an absence of God in the lives of people, Paul said that more parenting workshops must be held throughout the country to educate parents. She called for the hiring of more trained social workers and counsellors to work with victims of abuse. "There are some things that are becoming acceptable for some mothers," Paulsaid. "There are many cases where stepfathers rape their stepdaughters and the mother does nothing about it because she is dependent on the man."
Mary's story
Mary (not her real name) is just 14 years old. She has started developing feelings for her mother's lover, even though she knows it is wrong. In an interview, Mary said it first started two years ago, when her stepfather called her to look at an X-rated movie. "My mother was not at home...He said he was educating me because I needed to know what to do when I get a boyfriend." Against her better judgment, Mary said, she allowed him to caress her body. Actual sexual intercourse came a few days later. Horrified by what she had done, Mary said she confessed to her mother.
"She told me to shut my mouth...These things happen," Mary revealed. The girl said she had deep feelings for her stepfather and wanted to get out of the house because she could not bear seeing him with her mother. The abuse has caused the mother-daughter relationship to become strained.
"I know Mommy hates me...I regret telling her," Mary confessed. Surprisingly, she said she did not feel any hostility toward her stepfather. School officials say children like Mary who endure such abuse, often do badly in their studies because they cannot concentrate in class.
A school supervisor said there were not enough guidance counsellors to deal with such cases.
The Student Support Services of the Ministry of Education offers counselling to students but this often is not enough. "These children end up hating themselves...They have low self-esteem. They blame themselves for their abuse," a source said. A teenage boy confessed to being molested by an uncle from the age of six. "He would hold a knife to my throat and tell me that if I told anyone about it he will kill me," he said. Because he hated himself so much, the teenager said he never took care of himself.
"I wanted to get fat, to look ugly because I didn't want him to touch me anymore," he said.
For years, the boy believed he had Aids and never wanted to touch his mother or sisters or drink from their glasses. "I did not want to infect them...It was later that I did an Aids test and it was negative," he said. "I thanked God because I always felt that my uncle give it to me." The boy, who lived for three months at a shelter in south Trinidad, said he no longer feel any attraction to the opposite sex. "I am confused...I am messed up, but I keep praying that God will deliver me," he said. A social worker who was involved in the teen's case said abused children were very sensitive and insecure.
"Many of them are afraid to talk about it...They feel they are bad and at first it took a lot to convince (name called) that he deserved to have God in his life," he said. He explained that girls who were sexually abused, swore they would never get married. "They just do not want a life-long relationship...They end up behaving badly at school and engage in sexual acts," he said. Last year, videos of schoolgirls having sex in classrooms caused a stir when they were posted on Facebook. A school principal from south Trinidad said in one instance, a girl was caught having sex with three boys inside a locked classroom. She did not know one of the boys was recording her sexual encounters.
'Negative impact on mental health'
Child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr Jacqueline Sharpe said child abuse and incest impact negatively on mental health. Although it was difficult to tabulate actual incest statistics in T&T because of the absence of a central reporting mechanism, Sharpe noted that too often victims of child abuse were revictimised by the justice system because of how long it takes for cases to be heard in court. "I don't think the justice system deals effectively with the problem from the point of view of the victims," she said.
"This means that children who are victims of sexual abuse are revictimised by the way the court system is. "When people get accused of sexual abuse, the justice system has to have strong evidence or proof to go forward with prosecution...The system for prosecution takes a very long time.
During the time it takes for the matter to come to trial, the children are affected because they do not have closure." Asked how cases of child abuse and incest could be tackled, Sharpe said: "I think we have to deal with children's rights. "They have a right to be protected, a right to be heard, a right to education and information and to have their relationship with parents supported," she said. "We need to become more child- centred in the way we do things. "We have to look at the well-being of the child and we need to have the justice system must be organised to give priority to children's issues." She said the Children's Authority was an excellent piece of legislation, but observed: "While the grass is growing, the cow is starving."
Minister: Children will be protected
Meanwhile, Minister of the People, Dr Glenn Ramadharsingh said once the Children's Authority was fully on stream, children would get more protection. He said the Government would also embark on an aggressive child protection campaign, hiring more social workers. "We have a hotline for children called Childline," he said. "Last year, we received up to 10,000 calls to Childline and Lifeline...The Community Remediation Unit and Family Services Unit are on board with us to protect children." Ramadharsingh admitted there is still a lot of work to be done. "When it comes to cases of incest, we must handle it delicately...We work closely with the police," he said. "The Children's Authority will deal with those crimes and perpetrators will be punished. "The authority will have the requisite power to deal with these incidents and they will be dealt with according to international standards."
