Are women really the praying sex? The stereotype of 'old lady going to church' is alive and well in the Caribbean mind. Yet, religion has traditionally been the domain of men. But times and perceptions are changing. What's the status of women in the modern church, masjid or temple? We took an informal poll among friends and readers to find out what they thought about the role of women in religion in T&T. Among others, we spoke to a female Anglican priest, the wife of an Imam, a Hindu student and writer on Indo-Caribbean women's affairs and the daughter of a Christian fundamentalist pastor. While their responses aren't 'official' representations of their religion, it's interesting to see what perceptions are held in a society in which all religions are respected and cherished.
Our Islamic respondent reported a steady increase in membership, especially among the men, but the Hindus and Christians lamented a falling away from the temple and church, especially by males. Religions in T&T are losing their men, and the survival of the faiths rests more and more upon the willing shoulders of women.
A matter of numbers
Among the Christian denominations, women filled the pews. While it was the same in the Hindu temples, at the mosque the men still held sway. But why? One Christian woman, coincidentally a mathematician, suggested it was a matter of numbers. Females outnumber males in all age groups, especially over 60, when the mortality gap between the sexes widens. To put it plainly, our men die and leave us behind. The elderly church-goer who attends alone or with her girlfriends is probably a widow.
Power plays
At the mosque and temple, men still hold the senior positions. In Islam, women aren't allowed to become Imams. There's only one female Pandita active in Trinidad. In the Anglican church, which allows for the ordination of women, there are about 45 female priests and deacons in active service. While Catholicism doesn't ordain females, senior clergy in the Baptist faith are largely female. How do women feel about the power struggle? It depends on the religion. The Imam's wife is quite content to allow the men to run the administrative and financial matters of the mosque, since the women have their own groups responsible for fund-raising and community work. During Ramadan, women cheerfully gather to prepare for iftaar, the traditional meal served at the breaking of the fast.
She even suggests that the increase in the number of women willing to wear the hijab is a symbol of growing acceptance of the different roles of men and women. The response among Hindu and Christian women, however, was more vocal. Many young women dislike being expected to submit to the will of a man. One Christian bitterly remembers the girls in her youth group being made to serve the boys food at events, and then clean up after them. Believing she was being 'punished' for being female, she cried out to God, asking Him why he made her so. "The teachings in our church were full of what women can't do," she remembers, "But no word about what the men can't do." While disenchantment among young women is widespread, this doesn't necessarily mean they drop out.
"They still hold the value of religious affiliation and spiritual development, so they don't stay away necessarily," says our Anglican priest. "They find creative ways to express and to be assertive while maintaining their affiliation and participation." However, those who buck the system are seen as trouble-makers. Even politics affects spiritual perceptions. Our Hindu student suggests that "with Kamla Persad-Bissessar at the helm, Indo-Trinidadian and Hindu women are finding their voices and creating a shift...women are no longer subservient but highly confident and self-assured individuals."
Spiritual warfare
Religion is a spiritual matter, so it's no surprise that there are spiritual forces at work. One Christian church-goer is certain that Satan is carrying out a well-orchestrated plan to attack the men. He distracts men from God through the many temptations he places in their way, such as pornography, immorality, addiction and love of power. In so doing, he undermines the family by destroying their roles as father, husband, and mentor.
Male exodus
Some men polled were disenchanted with the loss of their roles of power within the church, resentful of the women who were usurping what they saw as "their place." Others who grew up actively attending service, became "spiritually numb" over time. Rather than becoming more deeply rooted in their religion, they grew tired of it and withdrew.
Guardians of the faith
Women are held responsible for the religious upbringing of the children. Although Muslim men were meticulous in accompanying their children to Mosque, many Christian and Hindu men were content to relax at home–or even go to work–on a Sunday while their wives did their duty and made sure the kids got their religious education.
Most mothers accept this as part of their job. "Women are the matriarchs and have sole responsibility for the spiritual lives of their children," explains our Hindu scholar. "Men still see themselves as the breadwinners and have not moved sufficiently out of their comfort zones to embrace their changing role."
What about love?
Since most deities are male–Christ, Jehovah, Allah, Shiva, Krishna–do our macho Trinidad and Tobago men have any difficulty expressing their love for them? There were surprises here. Christians across the board said no, and our Islamic spokeswoman spoke warmly not just of the open expression of love for Allah among men, but also for their brothers, fathers and sons. The Hindu writer was less enthusiastic. "They find it difficult to profess love to anyone, let alone a male figure." Our Anglican priest agrees, but adds, "Men will demonstrate that love by actions and attitudes."
Did God plan for women to carry the torch? Everyone agreed that God wants men and women to participate equally in worship, but these days, it seems, women really are the 'praying sex'. Are we 'born so'?
Our pastor's daughter suggests that God gives us each gifts, which we must use according to our ability. The Hindu student uses more scientific terms to express the same thought: "The basic difference in brain use, emotional intelligence. Women are more nurturing and intuitive, and men more pragmatic." One thing all agreed upon, though, was that faith is a cornerstone of family life, the rock upon which our society is built. Both the clergy and the congregation need to rise and grow with the times to ensure that our spiritual life is as satisfying and fulfilling as it can be. And as we find ways to welcome men back into the fold, we women continue to hold them–and our nation–up to God in prayer.