Dis­cov­er how to wish them the best and move on with your life with a pos­i­tive frame of mind and a con­tent­ed heart.

Pain. There are many types of pain and this top­ic is the de­f­i­n­i­tion of pure emo­tion­al tor­ture - Un­re­quit­ed love. It hap­pens all the time and I have been on both sides of the sit­u­a­tion, so trust me when I say it is not an easy jour­ney and not every­one will be able to move on with grace, un­der­stand­ing and class but it is worth every bit of the even­tu­al con­tent­ment and hap­pi­ness that will be brought to your heart.

So the per­son you love, loves some­one else and it feels like the uni­verse has cracked open along with your heart at the cen­tre of it. It feels like an on­go­ing emo­tion of dis­mal de­pres­sion and sad­ness no mat­ter how you try to dis­tract your­self. Re­gard­less of your par­tic­u­lar ex­pe­ri­ence, this is for every one of you - whether it is about the guy or girl that does not even know you ex­ist, the friend that sim­ply does not have ro­man­tic in­ten­tions for you, the re­la­tion­ship you are in at the mo­ment but are con­stant­ly com­pared to an “oh so per­fect ex” or the ex that has moved on with some­one new and you are still deeply in love with him/her.

Last week, my friend called me in tears be­cause her ex boyfriend got mar­ried and she on the oth­er hand, is still sin­gle. I felt her pain and as we talked, I re­alised the mar­riage brought out so many is­sues with­in her­self, most hav­ing to do with her own in­ter­nal feel­ings and strug­gles. I had to re­mind her why they broke up and why the re­la­tion­ship didn’t work af­ter nu­mer­ous at­tempts. I re­as­sured her that even if the love was there, she should be hap­py that HE is now gen­uine­ly in a hap­pi­er sit­u­a­tion. It’s the right way to think.

Be­ing hap­py for oth­ers by us­ing pos­i­tive think­ing al­lows us to see the sto­ry from all sides and dif­fer­ent per­spec­tives. It re­moves hate and mal­ice from our thoughts and re­leas­es those bit­ter crit­ters that whis­per in­to our ear from time to time, en­cour­ag­ing jeal­ousy and en­vy. Neg­a­tive think­ing on the flip side, ex­plains why peo­ple bad talk their ex af­ter a break up. It al­so ex­plains why an in­di­vid­ual, af­ter be­ing re­ject­ed by some­one, usu­al­ly finds faults with the per­son - to make them­selves feel bet­ter.

All of us need to adapt a pos­i­tive way of think­ing when we see that some­one has made the de­ci­sion to pur­sue love else­where. Do not make trou­ble in the re­la­tion­ships of oth­ers be­cause of your own self­ish needs. Love is not self­ish, even if it is un­re­quit­ed. Wish them the best and move for­ward with a lighter heart than yes­ter­day. Re­mem­ber­ing the rea­sons why your re­la­tion­ship with that per­son did not work, will help you to move for­ward grace­ful­ly. Be­sides, why would you want to be with some­one who does not want to be with you? Don’t you de­serve to be loved in re­turn and not fight for af­fec­tion? I un­der­stand the heart wants what it wants, Se­le­na Gomez sang an en­tire song to ex­press that no­tion but re­al­ly, when are you go­ing to give your heart what it NEEDS?

To­day, put your en­er­gy in­to lov­ing your own heart in a self­less way. Think about your needs in­stead of your wants and de­sires, when you fo­cus on that, every­thing else will fall in­to place with time. God has got your back and his plan is al­ways bet­ter than what we set out for our­selves. That per­fect some­one you are pin­ing for, can­not be all that per­fect if he/she does not see how amaz­ing and spe­cial you are. Wait for the one who will ex­press his/her pas­sion to love you in ways you have nev­er ex­pe­ri­enced. Be thank­ful for the feel­ing of love your ex once gave your heart and let go to make room for what can be a greater love. Life goes on and things hap­pen, our char­ac­ter is de­fined by how we deal with the punch­es and re­build our­selves. Are you go­ing to be a vic­tim of sad­ness or lead your­self in­to a new chap­ter of faith, con­tent­ment and peace of heart and mind? The de­ci­sion is yours.