It's a shame that locally some guests think that it's normal not to RSVP. On average, for my wedding, an abysmal 20 per cent of guests responded to let us know that they were attending; the rest we had to phone. I've realised since then, however, from talking to other brides, that our 20 per cent was actually quite good compared to what they got! Alarmingly, the trend doesn't just hold for weddings; no matter what event it is, corporate�or functions at home, failure�to RSVP seems to generally be a given.
It is usually left up to chance that the host or hostess will "know" by extra sensory powers who will be attending. RSVP stands for "Repondez S'il Vous Plait" which is French for "please reply or respond.
RSVP information can be provided directly on the wedding invitation or, for more formal invitations, hosts can include a response or reply card. In the latter case, as a guest, you are required to complete the response card and mail or return it to the hosts by the deadline stated. Some etiquette gurus, though, balk at the idea of response cards and propose that instead, couples should include a separate,�small card with words such as "The favour of a reply is requested by August 22, 2010."�If no response card is included, you can reply by writing a short a note on your personal or other elegant stationery or you can call the hosts directly.
RSVPs by e-mail are also acceptable if the couple has provided a return email address on their invitation. Today, couples are using online RSVP services as well. Most couples generally give themselves a six-week timeframe to mail out invitations and receive responses. If you're in possession of a wedding invitation and you haven't responded to the RSVP as yet, here are some reasons why you should: It is considerate and basic good manners to reply, given that the couple has thought so highly of you by sending you an invitation. Failure to respond means that the bride/groom eventually has to phone you to find out if you will be attending. This detracts from time spent planning the event and is usually a hassle for a busy bride and groom-to-be.
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If you don't respond, most hosts will assume you're attending the event. As a result, they will cater for food and beverage, order wedding favours and make seating arrangements for you. Should you not turn up, money will be wasted on these provisions. As much as guests may not like to acknowledge this, couples usually have a "back-up" list with others they would like to invite. They usually wait an appropriate amount of time (perhaps three to four weeks) for the RSVPs to come in and, based on the numbers who won't be attending, they may choose to invite guests from their "back up" list. If you fail to RSVP and you don't plan to attend, you may be robbing the couple of the chance to invite another guest who would be more than eager to attend.
