In the world of entertainment, she can be described as a triple threat – actor, dancer and singer. Now that she has just added movie producer and author to her list, we just have to find another word to describe Karla Gonsalves. The 43-year-old Gonsalves, best known for her singing as a member of the popular local girl group Shades of Black and the zouk band Kassav, has just put out a book of her writings titled From Tears to Lip Gloss – A Journey Through My Heart.
In it, she bares a lot of herself and her life, on purpose. "I think people needed to know who the real Karla Gonsalves is," she said. "A lot of people don't know me. They don't know that I live in Chaguanas, that I grew up there and I don't wear make-up all the time and keep my hair neat. Funny, this is the way she is sitting before this writer – locs neatly wrapped in a bun high on her head and her face made up flawlessly. Most people think she is arrogant even before meeting her. "What they don't know is that at five foot two and having to fend for myself, I always put up my guard. "When they really get to know me, they realise that I am far from what they first thought." Ten years ago, Gonsalves began writing as a way of venting about things that bothered her.
"I have always been big on journals and pencils," she told WomanWise. "I used to take them with me to most places. On tour, I would make notes of the things happening around me in my journals." Journalling also helped Gonzales through the deaths of her friend and fellow entertainer Wayne Rodriguez and her mother. "That was a period in my life that remains a blur even now," she said of her mother's death. "It was the first time that I, regrettably, ever thought of suicide. She was my life." Recalling her friendship with Rodriguez, her eyes immediately welled up. Grabbing a tissue from her purse and tapping her watering eyes, she said her pain was due largely to not being in T&T at the time of the singer's death. "He needed me and I wasn't there because I was working on a cruise ship then." A Friend, Gone, which can be found in her new book, was inspired by the late singer.
Gonsalves' transition from pencil scribbles about random thoughts and experiences to a full-fledged book was something her friends always encouraged her to do. Out of work and searching for a job, Gonsalves got a light bulb moment when a friend, Michelle Telesford, asked her what she really wanted to do with her life. "It dawned on me that what I really wanted to do was to stay home and write and be able to make a living out of it. I have never been comfortable with the 8-4 work schedule. Although she still sings, Gonsalves has no desire to return to the stage full-time. "How would it look that me and my son are both on stage?" (Gonsalves' 21-year-old son Klese, is currently a record producer and choreographer with Machel Montano and HD). "I would still perform, but I would be selective about gigs." Proud and excited are the words that best describe Gonsalves' emotions at having released her first book.
She pawed over her collection of writings like a mother hen during the interview pointing out the times she wrote what, where and what her mood was. With all that she refuses to read her own book. "I tend to feel the emotion I felt while writing all over again. I remember the smell of the place I was writing from, what I was wearing on the day and sometimes I rather forget the pain." Asked to name her favourite pieces in the book, Gonsalves said it was difficult since all were like her children. She offered three, In This Time, With Eyes Closed, and I Wish, when pressed. From Tears to Lip Gloss, currently available in stores and on Amazon.com, is expected to be launched later this month. Gonsalves is also planning more books. One tentatively titled Just Venting and the other a romance novel. "It is my greatest desire that after reading this book, people will realise that they are not alone in this simple life. "That whatever they have gone through, someone else has also gone through it."
From Tears to Lip Gloss review
She calls it a book of poems, but really Karla Gonsalves' first book From tears to Lip Gloss – A Journey through my heart, is a combination of poems and random writings. One hundred and thirty-eight pages long, the book is divided into three parts – Of Past Tear Drops, Of Present Life Within and Of Coming Lip Gloss Occasions. In the first part of the book, it is a sad and distracted Gonsalves who writes about love, loss and loves she lost. In the piece You Make Me cry, she writes "You make me cry too much/My brother, my prince, my lover, my king;/I love you but you make me cry too much."
Other titles in the chapter include Unhappy (I am unhappy in the world of me/ which is as though it is not. Suffocatingly Stagnant, the I in me cries out...) and Oh Lord (Yet, I cry as I constantly feel as though I am forced to live through a labyrinth of contradictions/leading me further down a path of pain). The chapter Of Present Life Within, Gonsalves' mood improves somewhat. In her writings, she is optimistic, but still her lamentations from the first chapter lingers. You can actually hear Gonsalves rant in You're Not Alone in which she addresses not just the loss of her mother and brother, but her son's father whom she refers to as a deadbeat.
She writes: Might I add that this was the same man who had never paid a day's rent, or helped fix anything in the house. In another voice, she switches gears to celebrate the pan with We Ting and worships God in the piece The Centre. The closing chapter, Of Coming Lip Gloss Occasions is about anticipation of a better life, a better love. In this chapter you are rejoicing right along with Gonsalves that at least a happy ending is on her horizon. The book, published by Plain Vision Publishing, is well presented and also features photos accompanying the writings shot by Gonsalves, Sandra Dopson, Jacques Brown and Nicole Joseph.
