Part I
Gay. Lesbian. Bisexual. Transgender. We know what these words mean, even when some of us may not agree with what they stand for. Although considered a minority, the men and women of the LGBT community are definitely present in Trinidad and Tobago, and some say they are moving to the front of our social consciousness.
A person like Kevin "Saucy Pow" Darlington is what many people think of when they think of the word "homosexual" or "gay." His T-shirt's neckline dips below his pectorals, giving the illusion of cleavage. Fabulous, colourful necklaces adorn his neck; high-heeled boots are on his feet. The way he sips tea is almost ladylike. Darlington is a transgender man, a former gay prostitute and a "dancer" at places in St James and Maracas Beach.
But he's not anyone's poster boy for the LGBT community; people who are gay are much more varied than some of us would think. He listed the types of clients he would entertain when he "made fares" (was a prostitute) on Murray Street."Number one is police. Number two is Coast Guard. Number three is gangsters. And number four is rastas. All who have nice cars...Them does lock up they wife and come Murray Street and make fares," Darlington said.
It's impossible to estimate how many people are in the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community (LGBT) in Trinidad and Tobago, or anywhere else in the world. Flying under the radar is a deliberate choice, because being open about their sexuality means they may be subjected to a wide range of discriminatory acts, from derisive laughter to violence.
Being gay=backlash
In 2011, Darlington was stabbed several times by unknown attackers outside a Port-of-Spain bar, and received almost no assistance from passersby as he lay bleeding on the pavement. The treatment he's experienced sounds inhumane. But the truth is that many people act as though basic personal freedoms should not be extended to those with alternative lifestyles.
There are also legal reasons why the LGBT community fears a backlash if they're open about their sexual preferences. The Sexual Offences Act makes buggery illegal; the Immigration Act lists homosexuals among the classes of people not allowed to enter this country; and the Equal Opportunities Act does not protect citizens from discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation.
However, Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar has gone on record as saying that the buggery law is not enforced. Consultations on a National Gender Policy are now underway, and have included a wide range of interest groups, from faith-based organisations to the Coalition for the Inclusion of Sexual Orientation (CAISO).
Colin Robinson, CAISO's executive director, campaigns for the recognition of "sexual citizenship and gender justice". He believes there's a need for legislation that recognises that alternative sexual orientation is grounds for state protection. "Violence is real in Trinidad and Tobago. Some people decide that if they don't like what you look like, or how you walking down the road, or who they think you sleeping with, they could beat you," he explained.
An openly gay man himself, Robinson said CAISO has been engaging in discussions with past and present administrations on policy changes. Recently he attended a Universal Periodic Review held by the UN Human Rights Council, and reported that the Government has re-committed to protect the rights of all citizens, including gays and people living with HIV.
But one of the next steps, he said, should be a hard look at why buggery laws derived from faith-based moral codes are still on the books. "We don't have laws that say you have to make puja. We don't have laws that say you have to wear hijab. So we shouldn't have laws that say you can and can't have sex with people in private."
Born this way?
Some say the LGBT community is getting larger; others say it is simply becoming more visible. And through organisations like CAISO and well co-ordinated events, LGBT people now know where they can find the invaluable support that only other members of the community can offer.
"Gay culture is actually kicking off in T&T. You would see drag queens walking the streets like normal. At one point, gay people would be afraid to walk the streets because they go get bottle or stone," said Aidan (not his real name), a 24-year-old man. "They're not afraid any more."
Carnival is a major platform for increasing LBGT visibility, Robinson said, when the wider society gets a chance to understand that gay people are human too. "How things changed in the global north is because [gay] people became visible, not necessarily publicly, but they talked to their family members, their co-workers. And so you humanise what it means to be 'queer'," he added.
Being considered "queer" is normal for Darlington: people regularly point, stare and call him names on the street. But there's more to him than his vivacious persona. He claims to have been repeatedly raped, along with other boys, while living in an orphanage.
That was just the beginning of years of sexual, physical and emotional abuse Darlington said he's endured. His abuser also left him HIV-positive. Darlington says his attraction to men began after the abuse. Many gay and lesbian people, however, disagree with the notion that traumatic childhood events or dysfunction have made them homosexual.
Some religious perspectives on homosexuality differ. "We acknowledge that people will have a tendency toward being gay or lesbian," said Leela Ramdeen, chair of the Catholic Commission on Social Justice. "That itself is not a sin in the view of the Catholic Church. What becomes a sin is when you act on it. Catholics believe in objective morality. We believe that God designed us like this [heterosexual]."
The Rev Ethelbert Charles, spokesman for the Trinidad district of the Pentecostal Assemblies of the West Indies, agrees. "I believe with all my heart that if [gays] continue in that lifestyle, unconfessed, no confessing to the Lord for their sins to be forgiven, and they die in that state, they will definitely split hell wide open," he said.
In response to a request by Guardian Media reporters, the Anjuman Sunnat-Ul-Jamaat (ASJA) issued a letter written by its first vice-president Kamal Hosein. Although it does not explicitly state ASJA's position on homosexuality, that can be inferred.
"Through the Aids epidemic, millions have already perished in the disastrous path of physical disintegration which emanates from sodomy and the compelling urge for the unnatural-God Forbid."
Satnarayan Maharaj, secretary general of the Sanatan Dharma Maha Sabha, said gays have always existed in Hinduism. And though it goes against the natural order that is a part of the Hindu faith, he said, Hindus should not discriminate against gays, because they were born that way: "Not because nature has somehow passed [a male homosexual] by as a male human being must we as human beings set him aside also. He is part of the society. But it is a sexual deformity."
Instead of healing, some gays believe, religion has been a source of further damage. A lot of gay people cannot reconcile faith and their sexuality, Robinson said.
No longer ...
The debate about whether or not alternative lifestyles are a choice or as natural as breathing has always stirred up controversy. Especially when people like Janessa McKell say they were once gay. Now she's not, she said. "My experiences have helped me to see that deep transformation is possible-not just a surface mask (while) inside you're still battling with stuff. Transformation is possible."
McKell was born into Roman Catholicism, but eventually relinquished her faith to the strong feelings she experienced as a teen: "It was very real," she said. But through a spiritual encounter with Christ, she says, she stopped all homosexual activity over five years ago and now considers herself heterosexual.
"I did not have counselling, although counselling is definitely good. There is no ideal solution. But the beginning of the solution is Christ." Pastor Philip Lee is the founder and executive director of His Way Out Ministries in California. He spent part of his life-17 years-as a gay man. He says change is definitely possible under certain conditions.
"I know of no individual, myself included, male or female, worldwide, who has left a gay-identified lifestyle apart from a relationship with Jesus Christ," Lee explained. He says being gay is learned behaviour with numerous contributing factors. Pro-gay advocates have no scientific studies to back up their claims about the "gay gene," Lee said.
Lee is in Trinidad to equip pastors and other faith leaders to "help" people who experience same-sex attraction but want out. It's clear that homosexuality, and the people affected by it, no longer hide comfortably in anyone's closet. Those closest to the issue are urging our society to deal with it.
"We're a plural nation. We're a nation that has to grapple with all kinds of difference," Robinson said. "And clearly to enact that, you have to deal with sexual-agenda diversity." "Everybody has come through life differently," McKell said, challenging those faith practitioners who would lump together and condemn all homosexuals. "You can't castigate a group without knowing each of those people. God doesn't see issues. He didn't see me as 'Janessa the lesbian.' He just saw Janessa."