Senior Investigative Reporter
shaliza.hassanali@
guardian.co.tt
Melissia Thomas, her hands trembling, took a deep breath as she sat on an upholstered chair in an office inside the Maximum Security Prison (MSP) to talk about the agony of being away from her children while she awaited a trial date for her case.
Thomas, 43, and her fellow inmates Shanice Alleyne, 31, and Grace Cupid, 45, all charged with murder and on remand, share the pain of separation from their children.
While these women remain incarcerated at the Women’s Prison at Golden Grove Road, Arouca, their children are faced with mental and emotional trauma without their love, guidance, and nurturing.
On the prison’s website, it states there are 100 female prisoners in the system. Of this figure, 85 women are on remand while 15 have been convicted.
Last Monday, the Sunday Guardian sat down with these women, who revealed their struggles to maintain a relationship with their children, who have been impacted by the separation.
Melissia Thomas
In 2011, Thomas and her husband, Stamin Thomas, were arrested and charged with murder. Thomas has maintained her innocence to this day.
“I can still remember that day I was taken away from my children. It shattered me,” she recalled, her eyes brimming with tears.
The couple has seven children, six of whom are boys. The eldest was 11, while the youngest was an 11-month-old girl at the time of her arrest.
“I didn’t get to say a proper goodbye. Everything happened so fast.”
Through sobs, Thomas remembered the sad and confused look on her children’s faces when she was hauled to jail.
Quick decisions had to be made.
“My sister took the boys, and my daughter was placed in the care of my grandmother’s sister. The entire family was split up. Nothing hurt me more because we were a strong family unit. We did everything together.”
The first night Thomas spent in jail, she admitted to breaking down several times, not knowing how her children were managing without her.
“It was like you lost a part of yourself. As a mother, you can never adjust without them. I always say nobody could love and care for your children as you would, especially when you share a special bond with them.”
Thomas had to turn to God for solace and strength.
Almost a year after incarceration, the children were allowed to visit their parents in jail.
“It was a very emotional moment for all of us. All I wanted to do was hug, kiss, and tell them I loved them because we were all going through the most challenging time of our lives.”
But Thomas got a rude awakening when her daughter, Monique, rejected her.
“She shunned me. She didn’t want to come by me at all. It was heartbreaking to know that my only daughter didn’t know her mother after a year apart.”
Thomas said the rejection made her feel like she had “failed” and disappointed her children.
“They didn’t ask to come into this world. I brought them here, and after I bring them, I just leave them,” she said, bursting into tears.
Thomas said all she wanted was a daughter to make her family complete.
“I had six sons, one after the other. I kept trying for a girl, so when Monique was born, she brought happiness to our family.”
That joy, she said, was short-lived.
Thomas said that while her sons coped with the separation, her daughter struggled over time.
“She became an introvert. You had to dig things out of her. She hardly spoke.”
During her 13 years in prison, Thomas missed some memorable moments in her children’s lives.
“I wasn’t around when my daughter took her first step, uttered her first word, and graduated from primary school. Those treasured moments can never return.”
Thomas said she knew this affected her daughter, who complained that she lacked affection and attention.
“She kept saying I didn’t love her because I had never attended her school’s PTA meetings or dropped her off at school like the other parents. But what could you tell a child at that age for her to understand?”
However, the Angel Tree programme in the prison helped restore and strengthen Thomas’ relationship with her children.
Thomas now works as an announcer along with Cupid and Alleyne on the prison’s Rehabilitating Inmates Seeking for Empowerment (RISE) Maximum Radio station.
Prison life, she said, has shown her a different perspective on life.
Last week, Thomas said she received disturbing news that the woman who raised Monique had suddenly died.
“Monique would have to readjust her life all over again.”
The family would decide where Monique would live when they meet at the prison for Mother’s Day celebrations today.
“It’s going to be a tearful reunion on Sunday because this woman, whom Monique considered her second mother, is no longer in her life. From a baby, she lost me as a mother, and now it’s another blow for her. I can’t imagine what she is going through.”
Clinging onto hope, Thomas said she would continue to focus on her three Fs: “My faith, family, and freedom.”
She holds fast to her beliefs. “God has not forsaken me, and I will not forsake him even in my darkest hour. I am a strong believer in God. I know I will walk out of here one day to join my children.”
Having gone through hell and back, Thomas had this advice for mothers, “You see the time you have with your children, never, ever take it for granted.”
Shanice Alleyne
Single parent Alleyne also warned mothers not “to leave their children open for wolves.”
In May of 2018, Alleyne, who worked as a clerk in the Family Court, was charged with murder.
Alleyne’s five-year-old daughter was sent to live with her mother.
“It was hard being torn from my daughter, who always told me I am the best mommy ever. Honestly, I couldn’t muster the courage to tell her I was going to prison. I left that for my mother to do.”
The little girl did not take the news lightly. “She cried.”
The first night Alleyne spent in prison, she tried to put up a brave front.
But when reality sunk in, it began to affect her well-being.
“I started to talk to prisoners on remand and when I heard they have been waiting as long as ten years for their matters to be heard and they are still waiting, I started to get frustrated and stressed out.”
Alleyne said she sold herself a dream that in 18 months she would have walked free.
“I have been here for six years and five days. Once I come out of here, I want to do better by my mother because she has gone through hell and high waters for me. I also want to be a better mother to my daughter. It’s all about making better decisions for my child. Being in prison taught me it’s no longer about me,” an emotional Alleyne said.
Asked if she had regrets, Alleyne said “yes.”
She remembered being her daughter’s pillar of support.
“Raising her alone was a challenge financially, but we did everything together.”
In her home, Alleyne said, she ate, bathed, and slept when she wanted.
“I had the freedom to do that.”
Alleyne’s life changed in the blink of an eye. “It was a shocker for me.”
She had to adhere to the prison’s rules of bathing, eating, and sleeping at specific times.
“You are restricted. I wouldn’t lie to you. Prison has been an experience. One good thing about it is that I learned how to sew.” She’s now skilled at making clothing.
Alleyne also realised that the people she considered her friends had turned their backs on her.
To this day, Alleyne said, she’s unable to tell her daughter when she will be coming home.
“I would tell her I don’t know.”
Alleyne said her life behind bars has affected her daughter’s academic performance.
“There were times when her grades would go up and fall. It wasn’t consistent. And I knew why.”
This year, Alleyne said, her daughter began to peak in her studies and was confident of passing for a seven-year school in the Secondary Entrance Assessment examination, which she sat in March.
Stating the exam was a big day for her daughter, Alleyne said she felt hurt knowing she could not be by her side.
Alleyne is comforted knowing that each day she spends in prison is “one day closer to going home.”
Grace Cupid
Cupid, a mother of five, has been locked up for seven years.
On March 17, 2017, when Cupid’s court matter “went up to the assizes,” her life was turned upside down.
That day, the single parent and geriatric nurse never made it home.
“I was charged with murder.”
The lives of Cupid’s children, whose ages range from 15 to eight, began to crumble.
Having lost their father in 2020, Cupid said, her incarceration became hard for her children.
Cupid relied heavily on her mother to look after her little ones.
“I have a lot to thank that woman for. She is the reason why I am surviving in jail. She has been my support ever since,” Cupid said, wiping her tears.
Cupid said she went to the prison with an open mind as a God-fearing person.
But she became scared by what she saw and heard.
“While entering the prison, I heard one woman saying ‘fresh meat, boy’.”
That night, Cupid could not sleep in her cell.
“Like any other human, I cried. This is not my lifestyle.”
Cupid grew up in a sheltered home where prayers had become part of her daily routine.
Two days after her imprisonment, Cupid pulled herself together and signed up to pursue CXC English. It was her first attempt at an O’level examination.
After four months of beating the books, Cupid obtained a Grade Two.
Now she is challenging herself to get a Grade One in social studies.
Her progression in prison has given her children a sense of hope.
Cupid is looking forward to celebrating Mother’s Day with her kids.
“The last time I saw my children was last year. So I am excited for us to talk.”
These family sessions, Cupid said, are bittersweet moments for her.
“I am always happy to be visited by my children, but when they have to leave, we become overwhelmed with our emotions. Saying goodbye is never easy.”
One topic the family will discuss is the wedding of Cupid’s eldest son.
“He is going to get married soon, and I will not be able to attend the wedding.”
However, Cupid has extended God’s richest blessings to her son and his future bride.
Opportunities for women behind bars–Prisons boss
Acting Prisons Commissioner Deopersad Ramoutar told the Sunday Guardian numerous programmes and training opportunities are offered to those incarcerated at the Women’s Prison.
Among the training offered are sewing, dressing making, hairdressing, agriculture, cosmetology, hydroponics, cooking and baking.
Programmes such as anger management, critical thinking, academics and religious teachings are also provided for these women’s overall development, Ramoutar said.
Today, families can bring home-cooked meals on this special occasion “so both mother and children can have lunch together.” Children can also bring cards and roses for their moms.