The year 2021 was, with­out a doubt, a dif­fi­cult year for all. The COVID-19 pan­dem­ic forced a sig­nif­i­cant change in our way of life.

It re­strict­ed our free­doms, forced digi­ti­sa­tion up­on our ed­u­ca­tion and work­spaces, which may be pos­i­tive, but the sud­den­ness of the change was jar­ring. 2021 brought with it tur­moil and the loss of free­doms. Most dis­tress­ing­ly it brought death.

In 2021 Trinidad and To­ba­go’s re­la­tion­ship with the COVID-19 virus de­volved dra­mat­i­cal­ly.

On New Year’s Day the coun­try on­ly had eight new cas­es from the pre­vi­ous day, and no one died from the virus dur­ing that pe­ri­od.

The death toll stood at 127 af­ter a pa­tient died some­time be­tween De­cem­ber 30th and 31st.

But the end of the year, how­ev­er, the dai­ly death toll was well in­to the dou­ble dig­its.

The Min­istry of Health’s up­date #948 re­leased on Christ­mas Eve re­vealed the coun­try lost 37 peo­ple with­in a 24-hour pe­ri­od, and the num­ber of peo­ple with an ac­tive case of the virus in their bod­ies stood at 16,543. The death toll on that day stood at 2,718.

By De­cem­ber 29, the death toll had climbed to 2,825, more than 100 deaths in six days.

In ear­ly De­cem­ber, Prime Min­is­ter Dr Kei­th Row­ley told CNC3 News an­chor Khamal Georges that he was wor­ried that the pop­u­la­tion had be­come de­sen­si­tised to the ris­ing death toll. That they were no longer dis­turbed by los­ing more than 20 peo­ple a day.

Every year the T&T Guardian news­pa­per pro­files some of the pub­lic fig­ures we’ve lost in the year.

In a year such as this, even these deaths can strike a deep­er cord than they would nor­mal­ly.

Psy­chol­o­gist Kati­ja Khan spoke about these “para-so­cial” re­la­tion­ships hav­ing a place of mean­ing in our lives.

Para-so­cial in that these are one-sided re­la­tion­ships, she ex­plained, that you form with, “some­one in the me­dia (like a celebri­ty, artiste, politi­cian or in­flu­encer)”.

These re­la­tion­ships are a nor­mal part of life.

“Al­though we don’t know them per­son­al­ly, we still be­come emo­tion­al­ly in­volved and form con­nec­tions with the per­son,” she said.

“In ad­di­tion to be­ing nor­mal and com­mon, para-so­cial re­la­tion­ships can be healthy and ben­e­fi­cial.”

One of the first pub­lic fig­ures we lost this year was the vet­er­an ca­lyp­son­ian “Singing San­dra” De Vi­gnes-Milling­ton.

She was pep­pery, and blessed with a sweet singing voice. Twice crowned Ca­lyp­so Monarch for her hard-hit­ting so­cial com­men­tary.

For many, her defin­ing song was ‘Sexy Em­ploy­ees” re­leased in 1987.

Most know it by the cho­rus, “Die with my Dig­ni­ty.”

At the time it was rev­o­lu­tion­ary in its frank dis­cus­sion of sex­u­al ha­rass­ment in the work­place.

De-Vi­gnes- Milling­ton died on Jan­u­ary 28. With her pass­ing, the na­tion lost a cul­tur­al icon, but her friends lost a sup­port sys­tem.

Sher­ma Orr is the pub­lic re­la­tions man­ag­er at the Trin­ba­go Uni­fied Ca­lyp­so­ni­ans Or­gan­i­sa­tion.

“We have lost a moth­er in San­dra,” she told us.

“Any­body could of call her at any time for any­thing. We have (lost) a moth­er, and friend in the fra­ter­ni­ty.”

En­er­gy Min­is­ter dies

Then in April the Min­is­ter of En­er­gy and En­er­gy In­dus­tries Franklin Khan died sud­den­ly at his Mar­aval home. His death came when COVID-19 vac­cines were new to the coun­try, and not yet in wide cir­cu­la­tion.

Al­most im­me­di­ate­ly there were ru­mours that the vac­cine, which Khan had re­ceived four days pri­or, had caused his death.

It did not, in­stead a cal­ci­fied cyst blocked blood flow to his heart.

The late Min­is­ter had suf­fered with his heart for years, but he was ac­tive­ly work­ing. Weeks be­fore his un­time­ly death he was on the job, dis­cussing an ex­plo­sion at the Ni­Quan GTL plant with the me­dia.

The man, some called “Smile­ly” was eu­lo­gised by his friend, Prime Min­is­ter Dr Kei­th Row­ley, as the best of us. His suc­ces­sor in the Min­istry, Stu­art Young, told Guardian Me­dia, Khan was “a good men­tor and we made an ex­cel­lent team”.

A trained ge­ol­o­gist who was proud of his knowl­edge base, Franklin Khan was a hard act to fol­low. “He left a good foun­da­tion and plat­form at the Min­istry of En­er­gy and En­er­gy In­dus­tries for an in­com­ing Min­is­ter,” Young said.

“I be­lieve the good work con­tin­ues.”

An­oth­er shock­ing death was that of chore­o­g­ra­ph­er Tor­rance Mo­hammed. The 90-year-old dancer and teacher was still very ac­tive.

Sad­ly an en­counter with a mug­ger on May 24, robbed him of ad­di­tion­al years, and this coun­try of his knowl­edge and artistry. He died one day lat­er at the In­ten­sive Care Unit at the San Fer­nan­do Gen­er­al Hos­pi­tal.

Beryl McBurnie taught him to dance. And he learnt it all. Folk, African, clas­si­cal In­di­an and ball­room.

He even­tu­al­ly formed the Arawak Dance Troupe.

Too of­ten con­ver­sa­tions about Trinidad and To­ba­go’s best and bright­est are ac­com­pa­nied by lamen­ta­tions that na­tion­al ap­pre­ci­a­tion came on­ly af­ter their past­ing, leav­ing fam­i­ly mem­bers and friends to scold the coun­try for be­ing blind to their worth.

That is par­tial­ly true with Tor­rance Mo­hammed.

Co-founder of the Tor­rance Mo­hammed Cul­ture and Arts Foun­da­tion, Deron Attz told us Mo­hammed knew that a street was to be named for him, “He ac­tu­al­ly de­cid­ed for it to hap­pen clos­er to his birth­day time in Oc­to­ber.”

The re-nam­ing cer­e­mo­ny ac­tu­al­ly took place in No­vem­ber, and what was for­mal­ly known as Keate Street is now Tor­rance Mo­hammed Street in San Fer­nan­do. At a trib­ute con­cert held in his ho­n­our, al­so in No­vem­ber. Attz said peo­ple said they felt it did a good job of eu­lo­giz­ing a man who was good at many things.

TU­CO pres­i­dent pass­es

Then there was Lu­ta­lo Masim­ba, Broth­er Re­sis­tance.

As a mem­ber of the TU­CO ex­ec­u­tive Sher­ma Orr worked close­ly with Re­sis­tance who was the Pres­i­dent of the Trin­ba­go Uni­fied Ca­lyp­so­ni­ans Or­gan­i­sa­tion (TU­CO) at the time of his death.

“His death has hit TU­CO hard,” Orr said.

“You nev­er know what you have un­til you lose it”

Born Roy Lewis, the rap­so artiste died in Ju­ly at West­shore Med­ical. More re­cent­ly he was known for his work in the ser­vice of ca­lyp­so as Pres­i­dent of TU­CO. But that cat­e­gori­sa­tion is a dis­ser­vice to his work in the de­vel­op­ment of rap­so.

Rap­so mu­sic: the rap of so­ca or “de pow­er of de word in the rid­dim of de word”.

His mentee Omari Ash­by, him­self a rap­so artiste speaks of Re­sis­tance as liv­ing mem­o­ry, but he said be­ing forced to keep your dis­tance from fam­i­ly and friends has made griev­ing Re­sis­tance dif­fi­cult. Es­pe­cial­ly since the rap­so-move­ment Broth­er Re­sis­tance helped to “an­i­mate” hasn’t been able to come to­geth­er in fo­cused re­mem­brance.

Aside from a few talks or trib­utes here and there they haven’t been able to “come to­geth­er and jam; have a good vibe”.

And that has been hard. Orr can re­late.

She said that Re­sis­tance was a “re­al hu­man.”

She said, “the ex­pe­ri­ence I per­son­al­ly had with him is not one (that is) easy to ex­plain.”

There was a time when Clif­ford Lear­mond’s face was all over your tele­vi­sion. He was ei­ther star­ring in com­mer­cials, or in comedic plays.

But that stopped be­cause Lear­mond had been ail­ing for a while. He died Sep­tem­ber 13 in Mi­a­mi, where he had moved to in 2016 to re­cov­er from by­pass surgery.

More re­cent­ly, how­ev­er, the 54-year had been hos­pi­talised for COVID-19 and seemed on the mend.

His friends and fel­low ac­tors in­clud­ing Pene­lope Spencer and Nik­ki Cros­by re­mem­bered him fond­ly for his tal­ent and his brav­ery as an ac­tor. “I want to tell him,” Spencer said.

“He made a mark, and go and re­lease and re­lax. We will take care of things as much as we can here.”

There is a ten­den­cy, when a per­son has died to re­mem­ber them fond­ly, to for­give.

The death of Imam Yasin Abu Bakr on Oc­to­ber 21 would have test­ed many, some of whom are not as will­ing to for­give or for­get. His fu­ner­al at­tract­ed throngs of well-wish­ers to the Ja­maat-al-Musilmeen com­pound in Mu­cu­rapo.

There he was ho­n­oured as a man who was un­afraid of au­thor­i­ty and will­ing to stand up for what he felt was right, at great per­son­al cost.

But as the leader of the 1990 coup, those who were on the oth­er side, have strug­gled, and con­tin­ue to con­front their mem­o­ries of that time in Ju­ly, in the Red House, the Old Po­lice Head­quar­ters and the TTT build­ing on Mar­aval Road.

Vet­er­an news an­chor Do­minic Kaliper­sad, who was Bakr’s un­will­ing co-an­chor when he an­nounced that Trinidad and To­ba­go was now un­der his con­trol was de­lib­er­ate­ly mea­sured in his re­sponse to Bakr’s death.

“He is part of our his­to­ry. In that con­text, how­ev­er, apart from un­der­stand­ably emo­tion­al re­ac­tions to his ac­tions in 1990, the deep-root­ed cause of the at­tempt at a coup d’etat is yet to be ef­fec­tive­ly analysed. May his soul rest in peace,” Kaliper­sad said.

Deal­ing with grief

Psy­chol­o­gist Dr Mar­garet Nakhid-Cha­toor re­minds us that, “We grieve be­cause we have loved.” We mourn peo­ple and things, and there­fore, “the pur­pose of grief is an out­ward ex­pres­sion of the loss in our lives; as for many per­sons the world shifts and we are plunged in­to de­spair”.

As the year pro­gressed, low pub­lic in­ter­est in the COVID-19 vac­cines avail­able cou­pled with the re-open­ing of the in­dus­try led to a sharp but not un­sur­pris­ing rise in in­fec­tions.

At least not sur­pris­ing to those who were pay­ing at­ten­tion to Chief Epi­demi­ol­o­gist Dr Av­ery Hind’s pre­sen­ta­tions in Min­istry of Health’s COVID-19 brief­in­gs. And as he ex­plained, time and time again, ris­ing in­fec­tions will re­sult in ris­ing death rates.

Trinidad and To­ba­go has, in De­cem­ber, reached a point of top­ping off at dai­ly death rates in the ear­ly thir­ties from COVID-19.

Omari Ash­by said a friend de­scribed the dai­ly death toll was “like an en­tire class­room of peo­ple dis­ap­pear­ing every day,” and the com­ment gave him pause. He al­so spoke of how sur­re­al the iso­la­tion makes ac­cep­tance of death.

“There is a kind of sense of, all right maybe when the COVID is over, we’ll see peo­ple again.” But he ac­knowl­edges that this year, griev­ing has be­come very dif­fi­cult.

Dr Nahkid-Cha­toor agrees, “this so­ci­ety is griev­ing ter­ri­bly. The men­tal and phys­i­cal health of fam­i­lies are af­fect­ed.” Grief is more than emo­tion­al, it is al­so phys­i­cal. She rec­om­mends ac­knowl­edg­ing your feel­ings in­clud­ing cry­ing or talk­ing about your emo­tions, about the per­son or about death in gen­er­al.

Dr Kati­ja Khan says we can use the death of pub­lic fig­ures and celebri­ties as a way to con­front our feel­ings about our own mor­tal­i­ty. While it can make, “us feel a lit­tle less se­cure” when we share these feel­ings on­line, which is hap­pen­ing more so now be­cause of the pan­dem­ic, “it can al­so be an ex­am­ple of grief sig­nalling where­by we let oth­ers know we were com­mit­ted to a cer­tain cause or iden­ti­ty and it al­lows us to con­nect with oth­ers who share those same sen­ti­ments and be a part of a com­mu­ni­ty that is al­so griev­ing.”

Off-line self-care is im­por­tant dur­ing this stage. And en­gag­ing in acts of re­mem­brance for those you’ve lost. Light­ing can­dles, cre­at­ed a Christ­mas or­na­ment that ho­n­ours them or car­ing for their fi­nal rest­ing places. These can form part of health grief prac­tices.

To all of the faith­ful de­part­ed, may per­pet­u­al light shine up­on them. Marché bon.