Reporter
angelo.jedidiah@guardian.co.tt
Some may consider it a flaw or a characteristic to be rid of. But for Akenna Kublal, vitiligo has changed her for the better, shaping a story of profound strength and resilience.
At the time, life seemed to be going exactly as it should for Akenna. A young woman in her mid-20s with a growing family and an established career as a flight attendant, she appeared to be on the “correct” path. Yet, beneath the surface, she was quietly managing internal pressures and stresses in both her personal and professional life. Nothing, however, could have prepared her for the diagnosis that would alter her trajectory forever.
It began with what seemed to be tiny, discoloured spots on her fingertips.
“I ignored it for a while until it started appearing on the tips of my fingers and then spreading. That’s when I really got it checked out,” Akenna told Guardian Media.
“When I first started seeing it, I didn’t know what it was; I just thought maybe it would fade away.”
A single visit to a dermatologist revealed the truth: it was the onset of vitiligo.
According to medical studies, vitiligo is a chronic, long-lasting autoimmune disorder that causes patches of skin to lose their pigment or colour. This happens when melanocytes, the cells responsible for skin pigment, are attacked or destroyed, leaving behind milky-white patches.
With little prior knowledge of the condition, Akenna turned to research. She learned that Canadian fashion model Winnie Harlow lives with the disorder, as did the late global pop icon Michael Jackson. But this provided little comfort. She remained terrified of how much worse the condition could become and how quickly it might spread.
In Akenna’s case, the trigger was simple—stress.
“What I learned from the dermatologist and my physician is that vitiligo, in some cases, is triggered by stress. So, for me, during that time, I was going through a change of jobs. I was also in a very difficult marriage at the time. And you know, going through some challenges in life. So, my physician said that that would have caused the rapid progression in mine.”
Akenna was diagnosed with non-segmental vitiligo, meaning the depigmentation is not confined to one specific area. Instead, it spreads unpredictably; she could wake up any day to find a new spot.
While vitiligo is neither life-threatening nor contagious, and poses few physical risks, the psychological toll was devastating, plunging her into periods of depression.
“Earlier on, it was very challenging to cope with. It’s not something that you could like say, ‘Okay, I’m gonna adjust, and this is how I’m gonna look today, and I’m gonna adjust to that.’ You change over time, and then, as a woman, when it started appearing on my face, that’s really when I started to feel really, really insecure,” Akenna recounted.
“I would try to do the covering up with the makeup. But then sometimes you cover it with makeup, and then what if it smudges?”
Seeking relief, Akenna tried prescribed topical steroid creams, but they caused painful chemical burns and discomfort with absolutely no results.
As the condition spread, her two children never treated her differently. However, her younger daughter eventually asked Akenna not to pick her up from primary school. It wasn’t out of shame, but because the little girl, just like her mother, was being burdened by constant questions and, in some instances, unkind comments from others.
“I remember one day just taking a walk in Eddie Hart Savannah with my kids. And this lady came up to me, and she was like, ‘You have to do something about that thing on your skin,” she said.
“I remember another time I met this lady in PriceSmart, and she told me that I’m not praying enough and asking God to take this away from me.”
Comments like these drove Akenna to seek therapy to cope not only with her internal struggles, but with the painful projections of strangers.
“Some people, I think, they think that if they had vitiligo, they might not be able to handle it. So, when they see somebody walking and living with it, they feel as though you’re just accepting this thing. But you don’t get to that acceptance stage overnight.”
A decade later, at 37 years old, Akenna is firmly rooted in that acceptance stage, dressing freely, living boldly and rejecting the idea that she is at fault for her condition.
But she also had to navigate a different, unsettling kind of commentary: those who viewed her vitiligo as a positive upgrade, applauding the idea that she could “become a white.”
“Ironically, people have gravitated towards that more positively than me accepting vitiligo. And I don’t know where that mindset comes from. Maybe because of the colonial context in Trinidad. But I’ve had people in society, strangers, that would say to me, ‘Well, at least you will become a white lady just now.’ And it’s almost said in a positive way, versus ‘Oh well, at least you can accept this, and you know you still look beautiful with it’.”
Instead of letting depression win or spending her life chasing experimental cures, Akenna believes life has a new sense of meaning and purpose. A major component of her survival has been actively protecting her peace.
“I avoid stress, one by accepting my vitiligo, and just, just living life and not allowing it to take away time in my day and allow it to break me.”
While her daily routine requires lifestyle adjustments, like consistently wearing sunscreen outdoors, she lives life just as anyone else.
Today, Akenna’s life looks vastly different. She has transitioned from her career as a flight attendant to working as a successful client engagement manager in the software industry.
Yet, despite her busy corporate schedule, she has stepped into a much larger calling as a proud vitiligo patient advocate and serves on a committee for the Global Vitiligo Foundation called Unite, as the only Caribbean woman on that committee.
Over the years, various medical remedies have entered the market, though they remain prohibitively expensive.
When asked if she would consider these treatments if they became affordable and accessible, Akenna hesitated, for reasons she now understands perfectly.
“I would have to really give a lot of thought. Because who I became on this vitiligo journey, I don’t know that I would trade it for who I was before. Not that I was a bad person before. But I think because of the psychological part of it,” she said.
“We are not as much of the outside as we make ourselves up to be. I don’t know that I would want to go back to living that superficial life anymore.”
