Teenage pregnancy–It's real and it's happening world-wide. And contrary to popular belief, teenage pregnancy does not only affect a certain demographic or lower income families; it is a problem facing every teenage girl having sex. Every young girl between 13 and 19 having sexual intercourse is at risk. In some families abortion is an option, while in others the "perpetrator" may be sent to have the baby in a foreign country, where adoption would then take place. But those who don't have such options would have no choice but to become teenage moms.
As is the "norm," students in T&T who become pregnant are not allowed to attend school during the period of their pregnancy in order to avoid "corrupting" their peers. "Teenage mom beats odds" was a headline published on August 20 in the Guardian. The story painted a picture of a young girl–Janelle Rankin–becoming pregnant while still attending secondary school. Rankin has experienced this lonely, frightening and life changing journey. Facing the obvious embarrassment and struggles of being a student and teenage mother, Rankin was determined not to let her circumstances create stumbling blocks in her life.
Having repeated Form Four on her return to school after giving birth to her son, Rankin attained four of her seven CXC subjects, which included grade ones in Electronic Document Preparation and Management, English A and Principles of Accounts, and a grade two in Principles of Business. Unfortunately, she isn't the only teenager who has fallen prey to "sex too early...belly come soon after." Many young women are, at this very moment, finding out that they are expecting while still attending school. While Rankin got the opportunity to go back to school, what about those young girls whose pregnancies have literally become a "dead end" in their young lives?
Need for support
For parents, it is understandably difficult to face the reality of their teenage daughter becoming pregnant. Dreams of her graduating from school, getting ready for college, landing that high-paying job, getting married and raising children, are shattered the very moment they hear, "Mom, Dad... I'm pregnant." While teenage pregnancy is nothing to condone, it is still a reality that we as parents have to deal with. Our children need all the support they can get during this time. Affirming this is Oraine R Ramoo, counselling psychologist and certified trauma therapist. According to Ramoo, parents must remember that though they may be angry with their child, and they do have that right, the child is going through a range of emotions too–fear, uncertainty, disappointment, shock, betrayal and more.
Because of this she admonishes: "Put yourselves in their shoes, they need you now more than ever! "Parents can exercise compassion and offer support, know this...how you treat your child during this time could put them on a positive path to reclaiming their futures, or set them down one that will allow for bad choices, more hurt and perhaps less than successful lives. "Love them and that will guide you well."
Better sex education
Talking to our children about sex is still quite a taboo subject for many parents. There is the false notion that if they are told about it they become curious and want to explore it. However, your primary goal as a responsible parent should be to provide your teen with enough information to make intelligent choices. Clarifying your own thoughts and values beforehand will help you decide on the exact message to convey. This, in turn, will help you avoid delivering an ambiguous message that could be challenged, or worse, ignored. Teenagers go through enormous changes from the stage of puberty to adolescence. Naturally, during this stage both sexes go through physical, emotional and mental changes.
Also, they become attracted to each other, dealing with feelings they sometimes cannot understand. Because of this, parents need to be quick on the draw, providing their children with answers to their "teenage" questions. The education system should also play a pivotal role in edifying these young men and women in proper sex education. Sex education does not only include telling teenagers to abstain from sex, because as sad and hurtful as it is our young children are having sex. Proper counselling should be imparted to students, using visuals and real life case scenarios to place emphasis on the many complications derived from having premature sex which includes–unwanted pregnancies, education and career setbacks, abandonment, STDs, fear and other future prospects that would be marred by having sex too early.
Apart from the use of condoms, while some may think it insane, other methods of contraception should be introduced to young women as early as secondary school. Even though they are taught about safe sex and abstinence, there would be a great majority who would still have sex. And as the old adage goes–it's better to be safe than sorry.