KRISTY RAMNARINE
Kristy.ramnarine@cnc3.co.tt
For many women, menopause unfolds gradually over several years. But for others, it can arrive overnight-triggered by surgeries such as a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) or oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries). When this happens, the hormonal shift is immediate, often leading to what’s called surgical or induced menopause.
This was the case for Roberta Rose-Collins, who, at just 25, was advised to have both ovaries removed due to polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)—a hormonal disorder that affects millions of women worldwide..
While PCOS can be managed through lifestyle changes, medications, or hormone therapy, Rose-Collins had a severe and complicated case, making complete removal the most probable option.
“My PCOS reared its head after I gave birth to my first child in 1993,” she said.
“The first thing that the doctor did was try to remove the cysts from my ovaries, but in record time, my ovaries were packed with cysts again.”
The option to remove both ovaries was presented to Rose-Collins because the large, painful ovarian cysts kept recurring despite treatment.
“There was absolutely nothing that prepared me for what happened after the removal,” she said.
“My understanding was that I would not be able to have any more children. I was told that I would go into menopause, but at that time, I didn’t know about all the symptoms related to it. I remember waking up drenched in sweat. I would be soaked as if someone threw water on me.”
Her doctor at the time recommended Hormonal Replacement Therapy (HRT).
“It is very different from what we have now. It didn’t work for me at all. I was constantly ill on the treatment; we tried it for probably about a year. And then the doctor asked, ‘Are you still having hot flushes?’ And I said no, and he was like, ‘Then you’re fine’,” she added.
“At the back of my head, I thought menopause was a thing you go through once, then you’re fine. Back then, you couldn’t Google things like you Google now, and I didn’t have the opportunity to research.”
Rose-Collins, who is now 52, suffered through severe menopause for many years, neither she nor the myriad of doctors she saw recognising it for what it was. It was only about a year ago that her life took a turn.
“You name it, I had it. Things were so bad, they checked me for lupus,” she said.
“I used to have bone-breaking pain; it felt like my ankle was breaking when I stepped on the ground. I had therapy for that. I had frozen shoulder, and I had therapy for that. I had a bladder prolapse just before the age of 40.”
Fast-forward to 2024, Rose-Collins began pellet therapy–a method of delivering hormones (usually oestrogen, testosterone, or sometimes progesterone) through small, rice-sized pellets that are inserted under the skin, typically in the hip or buttock area.
“Within two weeks of having it, my energy levels were through the roof,” she said.
“I had zero sex drive, no libido for years; that thankfully has changed. A lot of marriages don’t last because of those types of situations.”
Living through these symptoms took a toll on her marriage, but Roberta and her husband fought through with faith and open communication over the years.
“Our marriage has not been a perfect one; it was tough, but we were there for each other. I didn’t do this alone,” she said.
“He said to me once that I didn’t make the decision alone to do the hysterectomy and that I would not fight through the symptoms alone, and that made me feel really loved and made me want to continue to find a way.”
Her husband, Andre, who has been to almost every doctor’s appointment with her, said that Roberta was ‘edgy’ most of the time, as she felt frustrated and hopeless in her situation.
“While I was there supporting, I was always looking at it from my perspective, like I was missing out on something,” he said.
“But after she told me once that this was beyond her control, that’s when it hit home, and I had to change my perspective.”
Andre, who is an educator, started looking at things differently, doing a lot of research on the topic.
“Seven out of 10 marriages that end in divorce are initiated by women,” he said.
“Then you have to ask yourself, out of those women, how many felt frustrated because of menopause and felt like they couldn’t do anything. How many of them may have felt lonely because nobody seemed to understand?”
His advice to other men is to be present. Even though it seems like she is attacking you, it’s much more than that.
Ultimately, menopause affects the couple, not just the woman. A supportive spouse helps create a safe space where change is accepted rather than feared. Together a couple can navigate the transition with patience, love, and understanding.
How to offer support
* Listen without judgement: allowing open conversations about symptoms, fears, or frustrations will help her feel heard and you, as the man, to get an appreciation for what is happening.
* Offer reassurance: Remind a partner that she is loved, valued, and attractive beyond physical changes.
* Share responsibilities: help with household tasks or be patient when fatigue or discomfort makes routines harder.
* Encourage health and self-care: support medical consultations, exercise routines, or relaxation practices.