Fayola k J Fraser
“If the father’s responsibilities are many, his rewards are also great—the love, appreciation, and respect of children.” Upon the establishment of Father’s Day in the United States in 1966, then US president Lyndon B Johnson proclaimed these words as an ode to fathers, insisting that although fatherhood can be both challenging and demanding, it is one of the most gratifying experiences a man can have.
Expectations of fatherhood have shifted over the past century. Previously, the father or husband’s role in the family was as the sole breadwinner, with him typically less involved in child-rearing.
However, in the past decades, it has become clear that men are choosing to equally share the load of parenthood, some even more steadfast and dedicated than others.
Warren Thomas is a standout father who embodies the involvement and dedication that characterise exceptional, devoted dads. Originally from Morvant, Thomas and his family eventually settled on Dundonald Hill in St James when he was a young boy.
Two major constants in his life from a young age shaped his present ability to excel in fatherhood. Since his involvement in the church, specifically at Grace Chapel, from childhood, his values and ethos have been largely influenced by the religious tenets of Christianity.
His second influence? His “excellent dad.” Thomas recalled his father providing a model for him during his childhood, as he was always present. “He didn’t have an eight to four as an insurance agent, so he was able to attend our parent-teacher meetings, and sports events, and all the community children would come to our house for my dad to play card games and Monopoly with us all.”
Even remembering his dad’s “big ole Benz,” his childhood was filled with exciting outings as his father would pack all his biological and non-biological children into the car and head off to Maracas and the cinema during vacations. With this solid grounding in family values and an example of involved fatherhood, when Thomas married his wife, Tracy Thomas, whom he met in the Youth Group at Grace Chapel, they both knew that they wanted children.
Coming from families of three children each, they envisioned themselves with three. “After having one, we reconsidered three,” he laughed. Their daughter, Lily Thomas, was born in 2014, after a difficult labour where his wife lost five pints of blood.
Thomas recounted pacing the hospital corridors, waiting anxiously to get the call that let him know of the successful and safe birth, and finally going to meet his daughter. Describing meeting her as a defining moment in his life, he says, “When I held Lily for the first time, I understood how magical life is and how precious children are. I instantly felt different.”
As a new father, he went through a transitionary period where he felt he had to learn to become a dad. “It was a huge adjustment,” he says. “I had to learn the sacrifices involved in raising a child.” He acknowledged that he did not share the load with his wife as much as he should have at the time, letting other important responsibilities at work and the church compete for his attention.
Thomas holds an undergraduate degree in Chemistry and an MSc in Environmental Biology, and during the years before and immediately after his daughter’s birth, he was employed at a company performing sales for lab equipment. In 2016, he left his job and started spending most of his time at home taking
care of his daughter, “giving me a real appreciation for the amount of work my wife was doing.”
In 2017, he pivoted into real estate, a career he did not originally see himself involved in, but with his sales background, it became more of a natural fit than he expected. “God directed me to real estate,” he says. “Because if I didn’t have the flexibility and autonomy that this career offers, we wouldn’t have been able to handle taking care of our son.”
After two devastating miscarriages, the couple’s son, Joshua Jordan Thomas, was born in November 2022. Remembering that he picked out his son’s name years before he was born, Jordan became an important part of his name, a signal of the Jordan River Joshua would have to cross. Ahead of the baby’s delivery, they visited many specialists to ensure the baby was developing nicely in the womb, and everything seemed routine.
As Thomas once again paced the corridors of the hospital, his wife called him, saying, “Warren, come upstairs, I need to talk to you,” and he knew immediately that something wasn’t quite right. Joshua was born with trisomy 21, more commonly known as Down syndrome. The doctors were able to guess this upon birth by the appearance of the telltale signs: small ears, a flap at the back of the neck, sandal feet, and an absent nose bridge. When Thomas laid eyes on his son in the corridor of the hospital, he knew that he was not an ordinary baby, “and I immediately fell in love with him.”
Rooted in his faith in God, Thomas does not consider having a child with special needs a mistake or a burden. “God placed Joshua in our care because he knew that we could love, care for, and nurture him like he needed. This was by design.”
Describing his son as a smiley bundle of joy, he looks forward to the great amount of quality time he can spend with him as a stay-at-home dad. Although the developmental delay requires the utmost patience and dedication to therapy, Thomas has developed a routine for himself and Joshua, doing his physiotherapy with him daily to help his development, putting him down for naps, playing with him, blending up Joshua’s favourite strawberry and banana combination, and enjoying each other’s company.
The transition from one child to two, he acknowledged, is a challenge. Thomas and his wife have done a great deal of research, not solely about trisomy 21, but about the impact that a child with special needs can have on the other child in the family.
Determined to ensure that his daughter does not become a victim of “Invisible Child Syndrome,” he carves out special time to focus on her, blossom their relationship, and ensure she feels just as loved and adored by him. When asked if he feels any insecurity about being a stay-at-home dad, he says, “Every family has to decide what works for them. Yes, there are challenges to staying at home while still ensuring my business remains running, and I have to schedule my time around my children. But this is my assignment in life. My ministry is my children.”
The power team that he and his wife have created is impenetrable, as they share the responsibilities of parenthood and lean on each other as needed.
Dad advice
When musing on advice he could share with other fathers, Thomas reflected on his childhood.
He insisted that watching, protecting, and caring for children are not enough. “Play is their love language. I’ve learnt how important it is to dedicate time to play with them.”
He also advises that the patience required for dealing with children is not something that one can plan for. “You just roll with the punches,” he laughs. “Take the good with the bad; let them make a mess, and just clean it up after.”
A useful tool that he shares with dads is to block time in their calendar for their children, making them feel like a priority. Although some dads don’t have the opportunity to stay home, he suggested that when you get home, spend devoted and undistracted time developing your relationship with them and fostering open communication.Remembering his dad during his childhood, he says, “I know my dad loved me, my dad was always around, always there for me. He was my hero.”
Undeniably now a hero himself, Warren Thomas is a beautiful example of what fatherhood is all about: sharing love unconditionally, supporting his wife and children, and being the unfailing protector of their little family unit.