I know heart­break sucks but guess what, it al­so helps you to grow. Take a glimpse in­to my thoughts on why that big breakup was ac­tu­al­ly a bless­ing in dis­guise.

I re­mem­ber my big breakup like it was yes­ter­day. Al­though it hap­pened a cou­ple of years ago, that par­tic­u­lar split shaped the per­son I am to­day and I am now thank­ful for that ex­pe­ri­ence.

I know it seems un­be­liev­able to be thank­ful that my heart was crushed be­yond mea­sure. It may even seem crazy, but a lot of things about love are a lit­tle in­sane when you think about it. Heart­break is re­lat­ed to love, some­what like a dis­tant cousin who comes to vis­it when you least ex­pect it. A bro­ken heart is ba­si­cal­ly a void filled with pain ex­act­ly where love once lived.

What I’ve learnt is, there are ben­e­fits to heart­break and the soon­er you open your eyes to them, the more they ap­pear in your life. My shift in per­spec­tive changed my life and my opin­ion of my­self and how many bless­ings I was al­low­ing to go un­no­ticed. It al­so made me aware of the ar­eas of my life, on which I need­ed to work. It is not al­ways about find­ing the ide­al part­ner, but learn­ing how to be­come the ide­al part­ner. A bro­ken heart al­lows you to see how deeply you can feel. The pain and an­guish may seem un­re­al and un­bear­able, mak­ing you ques­tion if you will ever heal from such ter­ri­ble, gut-wrench­ing emo­tions. You may ex­pe­ri­ence pan­ic at­tacks, anx­i­ety, loss of ap­petite or binge eat­ing all while won­der­ing why God would put you through such pain and how the per­son you loved could hurt you at such a lev­el. It is such an in­tense phase that many go through and nev­er have the courage to talk about. Our heart has such depths but on­ly true love and ex­treme heart­break can al­low us to dis­cov­er those un­told lev­els. Be hap­py that you can feel it. Some nev­er feel any emo­tion at all.

An­oth­er ben­e­fit is the lessons that are learnt. We learn not on­ly about our­selves but what we want from our part­ner. We dis­cov­er the way we want to be loved and what we tru­ly de­serve in our life. Peo­ple ap­pre­ci­ate gen­uine­ly good peo­ple more, af­ter be­ing around oth­ers who may have treat­ed them bad­ly in the past. The lit­tle things you once ig­nored, are now wel­comed with a heart of grat­i­tude and thank­ful­ness. Maybe the one who broke your heart was not kind or con­sid­er­ate when you made a mis­take or had a short­com­ing of some sort, but a new per­son may be lov­ing and will pa­tient­ly help you grow in some way or will sim­ply ac­cept your flaws and all. The ex­pe­ri­ence that re­la­tion­ships give us, can al­low us to give thanks for bless­ings which we take for grant­ed on a dai­ly ba­sis.

Heart­break makes you kind and hum­ble, a ben­e­fit that most nev­er feel be­cause they are busy be­ing bit­ter and self­ish. When some­one hurts you, or even if they just don’t like you, it is hum­bling. It breaks down your ego and in­tro­duces the re­al­i­ty that you are not per­fect in the eyes of every per­son you meet. In­deed, heart­break wakes peo­ple up and en­cour­ages them to do some much need­ed soul search­ing.

An­oth­er ben­e­fit of hav­ing a bro­ken heart is that it al­lows you to pro­duce the best art. Peo­ple have dis­cov­ered that heart­break un­locks cre­ativ­i­ty and en­cour­ages brav­ery. Mu­si­cians, painters, writ­ers, crafters, even busi­ness own­ers and project man­agers are the most cre­ative when they have strong emo­tions stir­ring on the in­side and need an out­let in which to put their time and en­er­gy. The works of Lit­er­a­ture was writ­ten by the bro­ken through­out his­to­ry. Many in­di­vid­u­als now speak up and give sem­i­nars on mat­ters of the heart to share their ex­pe­ri­ences with oth­ers.

Wis­dom is found in the trench­es of ex­pe­ri­ence. Take a look at your­self to­day, did you ever get over a bad ex­pe­ri­ence you thought of as im­pos­si­ble? Did a loved one die, did your re­la­tion­ship crum­ble or maybe a best friend be­trayed you in an un­speak­able way? Take a look around, re­gard­less of the hurt and the hur­dles, you have moved on and you are SUR­VIV­ING! Be thank­ful for every­thing your heart­break taught you and choose to see the good that came from it to­day.