The Christian religion has just celebrated its greatest festival.
Like all religions, Christianity is founded on love, trust and the universal principle, the Golden Rule, which, simply put, is to treat each other the way we want to be treated. All great religions, Hinduism, Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Buddhism, essentially say the same. It’s a central ethic: treat others as you wish to be treated. The emphasis is on compassion, honesty, truthfulness and non-harm and millions of people around the world say they believe in this.
Yet, it is increasingly becoming more difficult to live in this way. So many people have come to accept the beliefs of authoritarians who now dominate politics, from the idiotic mumblings of the guy in the White House, to the terrifying threats of the mullahs in Iran, to the bare-backed showoff in the Kremlin, to the racist beliefs of the Greater Israel “chosen people” crowd, to the bellicose rumblings of modern China, through all sorts of bizarre dictators scattered throughout Africa, Asia and South America who demand homage from their people as they steal from the public purse.
And this philosophy seems to be building, becoming more and more accepting of people in all societies.
It has become clear that much of the reason this vile philosophy is sweeping across society is because of the way we are bringing up children.
In 2010, three researchers, Joseph Henrich, Steven Heine and Ara Norenzayan, coined the term “WEIRD” to describe a specific demographic that dominates most psychological and behavioural research. WEIRD stands for Western, Educated, Industrialised, Rich and Democratic and refers to psychological and behavioural studies done in Western, Educated, Industrialised, Rich and Democratic countries. Historically, about 96% of subjects in psychological studies came from these societies, even though they represent only about 12% of the global population. This is a massive sampling bias, and is not representative of the majority of societies on earth. WEIRD populations are “psychologically unusual,” often colder, more individualistic and obsessed with self-expression and personal achievement; findings based solely on them cannot be generalised to all humans.
Yet, the results of these biased studies are presented as the norm for human society. The consequence is that much of what we now consider “normal” behaviour is, in reality, abnormal. It’s all a bit, well, weird. Because of these findings, look at what we now tend to see as “normal.”
Medicalised intrusions at birth, progressively increasing to the point where in many countries over 50% of births are Caesareans!
The undermining of breastfeeding from medical practices, as well as from the power of commercial formula corporations.
Cultural myths about spoiling babies if they are responded to too quickly and held too much.
The shift away from extended family life to nuclear families. A decrease in unstructured free play due to parent anxiety diminishing free play outdoors, instead emphasising achievement and child preoccupation with screens and smartphones.
The recent development of a new mental illness, ‘nature deficit disorder’, which is really about preventing children from going outside and experiencing nature, in the bizarre belief that playing outside will make them sicker. And finally, because of all of the above, children growing up with decreased trust and participation in society.
Medicalisation, bottle feeding, leaving babies to “cry it out,” decreased intrafamily contacts, structured, limited outdoor activity and smartphones all contribute to separating children from human contact and cause children to not learn to trust. In the last 30 years, the proportion of people everywhere, who say “Yes”, when asked, “Can most people be trusted?”, has fallen dramatically.
Trust is the cornerstone of society. Without it, society cannot live and progress. Without trust ,simple manoeuvres become anxiety producers, discussions become arguments and then fights and life becomes a hassle.
For most people, valued personal relationships with family, colleagues, friends and neighbours are the best guarantee of happiness. People are happier and better able to function when they feel they can trust other people. In addition, crime is directly related to the level of mutual trust in a community.
The philosophy of individualism, also know as “entitlement,” the idea that you are entitled to the good things in life and that your main duty in life is to make the most of yourself and get the most that you can from society and to hell with the other guy, seems to have taken over our all segments of our society, from poor to rich.
Yet, remarkably, human contact, friendship, dancing and voluntary work generate more joy and trust in humans than anything else.
And it goes back to the way we are raising children.
