RAD­HI­CA DE SIL­VA

Se­nior Mul­ti­me­dia Re­porter

rad­hi­ca.sookraj@guardian.co.tt

Shameia Went was tak­en in­to a safe house to es­cape the clutch­es of a nar­cis­sis­tic ex-lover, but on Fri­day, she rec­on­ciled with him on­ly to end up dead yes­ter­day. The sus­pect is now on the run.

Went’s body had been dropped off at the San Fer­nan­do Gen­er­al Hos­pi­tal. Her face was bruised, and there were marks on her up­per tor­so. Po­lice be­lieve Went, 22, was bru­tal­ly beat­en and died from those in­juries.

In­ves­ti­ga­tors said Shereen Khan, a pro­pri­etor, re­port­ed that around 2 am yes­ter­day, her neigh­bour woke her up, ask­ing for as­sis­tance.

Khan said when she went to help, she saw Went un­re­spon­sive on the ground. Went was placed in a black Nis­san Wingroad and tak­en to the hos­pi­tal.

Speak­ing to Guardian Me­dia, Went’s moth­er, Sharon, said she had been in a tox­ic re­la­tion­ship with a man with whom she had a se­cret re­la­tion­ship.

“She hid that re­la­tion­ship from us for three months, and when we found out, she moved out of the house and went to live with him in La Ro­main,” Sharon said. She ex­plained that Went was a lov­ing and sweet child.

“She used to work and was very am­bi­tious. She want­ed to be an aes­theti­cian. With­in two months of liv­ing with him, the abuse start­ed. She would call for help, and when we went with the po­lice, she would tell them the mat­ter was sort­ed out. She wouldn’t want to press charges, and the po­lice said she was an adult and they couldn’t do any­thing,” the moth­er re­called.

Sharon said they were even­tu­al­ly evict­ed be­cause the land­lord could not bear the loud scream­ing and cry­ing when she was be­ing beat­en. Af­ter they moved out, they start­ed liv­ing at an­oth­er ad­dress in La Ro­main, but the fights con­tin­ued.

“She was very afraid of him. She came home on sev­er­al oc­ca­sions, and we al­ways tried to sup­port her and show her love, but she al­ways went back to him,” Sharon said.

She ex­plained that Went’s in­juries were se­ri­ous. “Once, she had a bro­ken fin­ger and had surgery on it twice. She had scars on her neck and bite marks on her back,” Sharon re­called.

Three weeks ago, Sharon said Went came back home, and the man came and pushed her in­to a car. “She end­ed up get­ting an in­jury, and he had to take her to the hos­pi­tal. That was how she called the po­lice, and I got her placed in a safe house. That was how she got away from him,” Sharon said.

Re­gret­tably, the vic­tim de­cid­ed to go back with her lover. “Be­tween Fri­day night and Sat­ur­day morn­ing, she left. I spoke to her on Fri­day night be­fore she left and told her to don’t go any­where. No­body is sup­posed to know where you are. You are in hid­ing and in a safe place,” Sharon said.

How­ev­er, she still de­cid­ed to leave. “I spoke to her about ten yes­ter­day morn­ing, and I asked her, ‘Shameia, why did you go back with the man? Aren’t you fed up with the abuse?’ I gave the phone to my moth­er, and my moth­er asked her why she went back. The last thing she said was, ‘It’s my choice,’” a tear­ful Sharon said. She al­so said the sus­pect’s fam­i­ly used to tell her to leave him, but still she did not lis­ten.

“He even broke in­to our house. She was afraid of him, so I don’t know why she went with him,” the dis­traught moth­er said. Say­ing Went was her on­ly daugh­ter who was well loved, Sharon said she at­tend­ed San Fer­nan­do Sev­enth-Day Ad­ven­tist and then La Ro­main Gov­ern­ment Sec­ondary School. And as she mourned her daugh­ter’s death, Sharon al­so had some ad­vice for women fac­ing abuse.

“The first lash is to leave. Do not stay in any abu­sive re­la­tion­ship. My daugh­ter didn’t lis­ten, and she paid the price. Don’t let that be your choice. Make a de­ci­sion to leave and do not stay in any abu­sive re­la­tion­ship,” Sharon said.

An au­top­sy is ex­pect­ed to be done on Went’s body to­day at the Foren­sic Sci­ence Cen­tre.

CADV avail­able to pro­vide sup­port

The Coali­tion Against Do­mes­tic Vi­o­lence (CADV) has ex­pressed pro­found sad­ness over the re­cent death of 22-year-old Shameia Went.

In an in­ter­view, CADV’s gen­er­al man­ag­er, Sab­ri­na Mowlah-Baksh, said it was dis­tress­ing that an­oth­er woman had been mur­dered as a re­sult of do­mes­tic vi­o­lence.

“Many sur­vivors ex­pe­ri­ence and live the cy­cle of try­ing to ex­it vi­o­lent re­la­tion­ships. It takes courage, but it al­so re­quires sup­port,” Mowlah-Baksh said. She em­pha­sised the im­por­tance of not judg­ing sur­vivors for their de­ci­sions to re­turn to their abusers, high­light­ing that they of­ten live in a con­trolled en­vi­ron­ment with lim­it­ed op­tions for sur­vival.

“We must not judge their de­ci­sions to go back to the per­pe­tra­tors and def­i­nite­ly not as­cribe blame. Sur­vivors live in a con­trolled space with few op­tions avail­able for sur­vival with­out the per­pe­tra­tors. This is what they come to be­lieve be­cause of the range of abuse in­flict­ed on them,” she said.

Mowlah-Baksh called for those aware of on­go­ing abuse to be a re­source for sur­vivors, stress­ing the crit­i­cal role of pro­tec­tive ser­vices and first re­spon­ders in of­fer­ing vig­i­lant sup­port to those re­port­ing and seek­ing help.

CADV re­mains avail­able to pro­vide sup­port for any­one ex­pe­ri­enc­ing this type of abuse, she added.