Thinking on how to support men and boys, my mind ran to a few sayings that are common when women describe men. They were mostly negative. While I have not used them despite my experiences with men, I only began pushing back on those when I began to consider that men and boys also experience disadvantages and inequities in society.
Men have their own vulnerabilities that sometimes become subsumed in the collective view that “men are bad actors.” I have had to rewire my mind to think that not all men are bad actors. This is despite the many bad faith and abusive situations I have encountered throughout my life in the workplace, in the community, and especially in intimate encounters with men.
Realising how easy it is to subscribe to popular views, I deliberately began reflecting on the better experiences I had had with men. As I did that, I became more supportive of the issues men face. Becoming a public health practitioner remains key to my own progress, but being a mother of a son and a grandmother of a boy are the junctures that aid in balancing my view of men.
Reading on this subject area, I came across numerous resources that help me curate a healthy perspective. A do’s and don’ts document by prevention-collaborative.org said, “Don’t start with the assumption that all men are bad actors.”
“It is counter-productive to hold negative assumptions about men as a group, even though men who engage in harmful behaviours like partner violence must be held accountable,“ the document stated. “Find and amplify the voices of men who support gender equity and those who are positively changing.”
A prescriptive is moving away from restrictive masculine norms to engaging in discourses about how these norms negatively affect the health and well-being of men and boys. This can impact on all the relationships in which they are involved as partners, as children, in families and communities. Moving away from these norms benefits everyone.
In public health research, I encounter the high rates of violence and substance abuse among men that are linked to harmful masculinity norms. But as a men’s health champion, noteworthy are the high rates of depression, heart diseases, strokes, and cancers – prostate, lung, colorectal and testicular (the most common cancer in men between the ages of 15 and 35).
And while I respect spaces for men-only dialogue to deal with most of the issues they face, especially issues like “harmful gender norms and the benefits of change” and engaging in sensitive topics, openly allowing men to share common experiences and get the best advice, I am an ardent advocate for wider forums.
Women’s persistence and a better health-seeking and help-seeking attitude are necessary for men’s health interventions.
And, men and boys must be in rooms with women and girls if we are to change communication and communicative values on sensitive topics among genders and within families and communities.
Among the best advice from prevention-collaborative.org is to have an approach that begins in early life and follows through the life course from boy to man. “Start building equitable gender norms in childhood to promote healthier decision-making later in life,” the document says, noting that messages about men’s and women’s expected roles and behaviour are internalised early in life.
“Ensure boys’ and young men’s access to mentors who endorse equitable gender norms and model healthy behaviour” and “implement evidence-based interventions to prevent and address children’s exposure to adverse experiences like violence and trauma, which are common among both boys and girls,” it says.
This is how we stem the crisis; how we impact men’s and their community’s health and well-being outcomes later in life.
Again, reflecting on my early life through my public health lenses, there was little that was taught directly or openly about these life issues. While I am almost alluvial in today’s society with so much access to resources, the hope for me is that programming, curricula and home learning are working smarter to raise our boys into better men.
Programming and activities must reflect “critical dimensions of men’s diversity, such as gender identity, sexual orientation, race/ethnicity, fatherhood, class, religion/faith, and age.” This must be done using timely interventions at each transformative stage of the life course – infancy, toddlerhood, childhood, adolescence, and adulthood.
Special educative moments must be in place for experiences such as “puberty, school graduation, marriage, parenthood, when their needs and outlooks are changing.” Without this type of investment, how are we to expect or demand change?
Boys and men have distinct needs from girls and women. Their vulnerabilities are also different. Their socialisation should reflect this as well. This is how all of society can benefit.
“The reality is that inequalities in social value, power, and opportunities of men and women have provided men with many advantages, while at the same time men are disproportionately affected by many health challenges (e.g., homicide, alcohol abuse),” says prevention-collaborative.org.
Confronting both issues requires a careful balance.
International Men’s Day is observed globally on November 19. This year’s theme is “Supporting men and boys.”
