As I ma­noeu­vred to the side of the road, op­po­site the Can­cer Treat­ment Cen­tre in St James to al­low the fifth emer­gency ve­hi­cle of the morn­ing to pass at 8.45 am, it seemed ap­pro­pri­ate to seek to cat­e­gorise the dif­fer­ent types of sirened sedans that now be­dev­il us at all hours of the day and night.

So here goes:

Cat­e­go­ry one: Na­tion­al Am­bu­lance ser­vice ve­hi­cle car­ry­ing gen­uine­ly ill vic­tims for life sav­ing treat­ment–siren sound: stays as is.Cat­e­go­ry two: Na­tion­al Am­bu­lance Ser­vice ve­hi­cle car­ry­ing staff mem­bers for morn­ing dou­bles–new siren sound: any Aretha Franklyn or Denise Bel­fon song at max­i­mum vol­ume.Cat­e­go­ry three: Cav­al­cades of black Pra­dos fer­ry­ing any­one of our po­lit­i­cal mas­ters to their des­ti­na­tion of choice–new siren sound: "Tell me lies, tell me sweet lit­tle lies" by Fleet­wood Mac.

Cat­e­go­ry four: Po­lice and army ve­hi­cles ac­tu­al­ly re­spond­ing, in re­al time, to crim­i­nal ac­tiv­i­ty or a na­tion­al emer­gency–siren sound: stays as is.Cat­e­go­ry five: Po­lice and army ve­hi­cles rac­ing along to their favourite food em­po­ri­um–new siren sound: any ca­lyp­so by De­lamo at full vol­ume.

Gre­go­ry Wight,

St Ann's