I am a champion for the cause of women and women's rights. They give of themselves selflessly, encourage others, single handedly raise families, while trying to destroy the glass ceiling. Some women may be misguided in their chants for equality but what they really want is equity. Very often their social condition is a result of having to navigate the terrain of parenthood by themselves. A woman then has to assume the cloak of both mother and father. The father mysteriously disappears after minutely contributing.
Often times, upon receiving the news of 'alleged' father status many men revert to their senses, feign amnesia or simply refuse to assume their role. Such is the shortened description of the circumstances that cultivate the single mother. It is from this side of the fence that society makes a plea on behalf of single parents, that is, the mothers. However, we neglect to realise that there are also men in the same position - men who have embraced their roles as fathers, mentors and role models to children. These are the distinguished few who go out of their way to ensure that a solid foundation is built for their children.
I know of one individual who was left with three female children who were not his own. In a true show of love and none other than the spirit of God, he cared for these children as his own. This delicate situation required him to fulfil the role of father and mother which may prove even more difficult since men are assumed to be void of the empathetic gene. From this instance, it is evident that both males and females endure the social condition of single parenthood. Men are often labelled as 'dogs' or just down right lackadaisical.
Heaven forbid a man willingly assumes his duty as a responsible parent. The dynamics of what we have always assumed a single parent is also shifts. We now have to consider the psychological impact this has on a man (who is not naturally a care giver) and more importantly, the impact of this phenomenon on children (particularly females). The absence of a mother can affect their relations with men and confuse their understanding regarding men in authority. This can result in females being overly aggressive towards the opposite sex and confusing independence with being unable to cooperate.
This is not to say that the products of single parent units are somehow damaged goods. In fact, several of these children go on to overcome societal stereotypes and accomplish great avenues for themselves. It is not where you are located or social standings that determine the merit of one's capability. In contrast, it is the realisation of one's situation and the drive to constant and never ending improvement. Life does not only consist of choices but decisions. These determine the strength of character and the richness of soul. The parents, both male and female who boldly take on the task of being a single parent do in fact have a tedious road ahead. Rest assured that we are aware of your drive to overcome the odds and produce leaders of the land.
Leah Lewis
- Press Pass Correspondent
University of the West Indies