Eliz­a­beth Gon­za­les

To­ba­go Cor­re­spon­dent

Apos­tle Josanne Al­i­by-Dy­er has faced more chal­lenges in her 39 years than most moth­ers do in a life­time. 

 As the se­nior pas­tor at Re­stor­ers of the Breach Min­istry in To­ba­go, along­side her hus­band, Apos­tle Dwain Dy­er, she has ded­i­cat­ed over 20 years to gospel min­istry. 

 But the true test of her re­silience has come in bal­anc­ing the de­mands of moth­er­hood with the call­ing of min­istry. 

With four cae­sare­an sec­tions un­der her belt—one more than the typ­i­cal lim­it—Al­i­by-Dy­er has had to learn how to strike a del­i­cate bal­ance be­tween lead­ing her church con­gre­ga­tion and be­ing the best moth­er to her four chil­dren, ages 11, nine, three, and a sev­en-month-old ba­by.

Yet, through it all, her faith and un­wa­ver­ing com­mit­ment to fam­i­ly have been the dri­ving forces be­hind her suc­cess.

 “For the last preg­nan­cy,” she told Sun­day Guardian WE mag­a­zine, “I wasn’t sure I would sur­vive. My child is here; I’m alive be­cause God kept me, and he’s blessed me with the four chil­dren I’ve prayed for af­ter four years of wait­ing.”

So, this Moth­er’s Day holds a spe­cial sig­nif­i­cance for her, as it marks her first as a moth­er of four, a mile­stone she nev­er thought pos­si­ble. 

 Af­ter be­ing di­ag­nosed with poly­cys­tic ovaries when she got mar­ried, she was told she may nev­er be able to have chil­dren. “I thought I would nev­er have chil­dren be­cause that is what was said to me,” Al­i­by-Dy­er re­called.

But she re­fused to give up hope. “Then I prayed about it, and on the fourth year of mar­riage, God blessed my womb with my first daugh­ter.”

That first child was the start of an in­cred­i­ble jour­ney. Over the next sev­er­al years, Al­i­by-Dy­er went on to have three more chil­dren—two daugh­ters and a son. 

“I wait­ed. I thought it would be im­pos­si­ble, but God came through,” she said.

Bal­anc­ing the de­mands of min­istry and moth­er­hood has re­quired Al­i­by-Dy­er to be in­ten­tion­al and dis­ci­plined. “I thank God for youth­ful­ness and sup­port. My in-laws have been there, and that has helped me a lot. Over time, I would have had to learn to make things a pri­or­i­ty.”

 Al­i­by-Dy­er’s jour­ney to moth­er­hood has al­so deeply im­pact­ed her gospel min­istry. Hav­ing strug­gled with in­fer­til­i­ty her­self, she is now able to of­fer hope and em­pa­thy to oth­er women fac­ing sim­i­lar chal­lenges. “There are women with­out chil­dren who would come through our doors, some of whom would have been di­ag­nosed with poly­cys­tic ovaries. Oth­ers may have been di­ag­nosed with fi­broids or an­oth­er con­di­tion that pre­vents them from hav­ing kids. I first use my tes­ti­mo­ny to re­al­ly give peo­ple hope. So many of them now have chil­dren of their own.”

 Al­i­by-Dy­er’s de­sire to sup­port oth­er women has even led her to be­come a first-time au­thor. Her book, “Kairos” (the Greek word that means sea­sons or times), chron­i­cles her jour­ney to moth­er­hood, from the wait­ing and pray­ing sea­sons to the let­ting go. “In that book Kairos, be­com­ing a moth­er, wait­ing to be­come a moth­er, doc­u­ments the wait­ing sea­son, the pray­ing sea­son, and the let­ting go sea­sons I’ve had to en­dure. I be­lieve while I was wait­ing, God was draw­ing me in­to a sea­son where he would help me to help oth­er women.”

 Her own ex­pe­ri­ences have al­so made her more un­der­stand­ing and ac­com­mo­dat­ing of fam­i­lies in her church. “I know church is some­times strict and re­quires a lev­el of or­der, but when there are kids in­volved, there must be un­der­stand­ing for a cry­ing ba­by, a fussy ba­by. You won’t hear me say to any mem­ber, ‘Take that child out­side or qui­et that child down.’ I know now what it feels like and the frus­tra­tion to qui­et a child down when some­one is preach­ing. It has helped me to un­der­stand and, fur­ther­more, find so­lu­tions for moth­ers.”

Along her jour­ney, she learned to max­imise the mid­night hours, us­ing that time to write, study, and med­i­tate when her chil­dren are asleep. “In the day, I’m a full-time min­is­ter. I would do min­is­te­r­i­al ser­vices when my kids are in school; that strikes the bal­ance.”

And her love for her fam­i­ly is what tru­ly keeps her cen­tred. “What gives me bal­ance is my love to serve my fam­i­ly. I grew up in a very old-fash­ioned type of home where I ad­mired my moth­er’s pas­sion and ded­i­ca­tion to en­sure the fam­i­ly is tak­en care of.”

As Al­i­by-Dy­er cel­e­brates her first Moth­er’s Day as a mom of four, she has a mes­sage for oth­er women who may be strug­gling: “Find the right sup­port, con­tin­ue to pray, and un­der­stand the sig­nif­i­cance of bear­ing the chal­lenges that arise dur­ing the wait­ing sea­son.”

And for moth­ers in min­istry, her ad­vice is to make fam­i­ly a top pri­or­i­ty. “We hear the sto­ries of pas­tors’ kids be­cause some­times of the ne­glect that can hap­pen, from our com­mit­ment to min­istry, day af­ter day, night af­ter night. Make moth­er­hood a pri­or­i­ty and strike a bal­ance. Al­so, have a time of wor­ship and fel­low­ship with your fam­i­ly. It’s im­por­tant that we don’t on­ly come to church but that we bring church home.”

Al­i­by-Dy­er de­scribed her jour­ney as a moth­er thus far as ful­fill­ing and a tes­ta­ment to the pow­er of faith, per­se­ver­ance, and a moth­er’s love. 

As she bal­ances her du­ties as a pas­tor and a par­ent, she hopes that the ex­pe­ri­ences she had dur­ing her jour­ney will in­spire women all over the world who are pur­su­ing their dreams while al­so valu­ing the im­por­tant re­spon­si­bil­i­ty of moth­er­hood.