RADHICA DE SILVA
Senior Multimedia Reporter
radhica.sookraj@guardian.co.tt
For 23 years, Valdeen Tamara Shears was a familiar face in the media landscape, covering stories of crime, gender-based violence to domestic tragedies. But behind the bylines and headlines, Shears was silently enduring a nightmare of abuse.
In a candid interview with Sunday Guardian Women’s Empowerment magazine, Shears, a mother of seven, revealed her harrowing journey from victim to survivor, shedding light on the silent struggles endured by countless individuals trapped in abusive relationships.
“Funny that I was experiencing so much hurt while writing about the pain of others ... I don’t think much of my colleagues in the media really knew what was happening or the extent of it,” Shears confessed.
She said her ordeal began long before her career took off, with the first signs of abuse emerging five years before she entered into journalism in 2000. Over the years, the abuse escalated, leaving Shears to suffer in silence, hiding her bruises and scars behind excuses and false narratives.
On one occasion, her abuser head-butted her, leaving her with seven stitches. “I told no one in the media. I was too ashamed. I told everyone we were doing home repairs, and a sheet of galvanise cut me. Most people believed that version,” Shears recounted, highlighting the isolation and shame that often accompany domestic violence.
Despite the facade of normalcy, Shears’ personal life was plagued by chaos and fear. “Poverty followed us around like a shadow because he was a chronic chain cigarette smoker and gambler. We lived under one ideal, ‘feast today, famine tomorrow,’” she shared, painting a picture of the turmoil within her home.
The turning point came when Shears found herself alone with seven children after being laid off as a freelance writer. With new-found determination, she made the courageous decision to break free from her abuser, seeking refuge in the strength of her faith and the support of her community. “It’s almost as if some part of me knew I was not going to stay,” Shears reflected, acknowledging the inner resilience that propelled her towards freedom. Driven by a desire to turn her pain into purpose, Shears embarked on a mission to help others trapped in similar circumstances. “Now I aim to help others out of that dark pit to shine a light, even if it’s a glimmer,” she declared passionately.
She added, “It helped tremendously that I was in the media, as this had developed my networking skills. I have a knack for connecting people to goods and services, and I’m not afraid or ashamed now to ask for help.”
In 2018, Shears founded The ABA Movement, advocating for legislative changes to protect victims of domestic violence. Her tireless efforts culminated in the drafting of a document calling for the use of GPS tracking devices to monitor perpetrators and alert authorities of potential breaches.
“I’m emotional because my heart hurts for victims and survivors out there who are still stuck in their situations and think there is no way out,” Shears confessed, her voice tinged with empathy and determination.
Shears launched her book “Free from Mental Bars–The True Story of One Woman’s Escape from the Cycle of Abuse”, during the recently concluded Point Fortin Borough Celebrations. It was launched under the auspices of Mayor Clyde James at the Borough Women Symposium. Shears also read at the Bocas Lit Festival.
Continuing with her advocacy work, Shear explained there were still a lot of legislative changes that were needed to heal after domestic violence. She wants counselling intervention for secondary witnesses of domestic violence, primarily children. “I also want mothers to try to understand the long-term emotional and psychological damage that can be left over when or if childhood counselling isn’t treated as necessary when extracting victims and survivors out of domestic violence situations,” she said.
Shears wants to see a multi-pronged committee established connecting agencies and ministries towards a more survivor-friendly approach to combating domestic violence, gender-based violence and intimate partner violence. “I also want the passing of several pieces of legislation, amended or included in my lifetime, that will positively impact the lives of victims and survivors,” she said.
She is also hoping to work with a shelter for abused women and children. Apart from being a mentor, Shears is also the founder of the Colour Me Orange campaign, which is aimed at raising awareness and lobbying for amended legislation to better protect victims and survivors of domestic abuse and GBV/IPV.
Her book, sponsored by SHIDAA Sustainable Development Solutions, is also available at all leading bookstores. Shears was also one of five finalists for the Angostura Champion’s Award, and she has set up a WhatsApp Survivors Support chat called “The Overcomers Club”, which has 27 participants. Anyone wanting to contact Shears can call her at 364-1523 or email colourmeorangett@gmail.com