Dr Safeeya Mo­hammed

guardian.wemagazine@gmail.com

“Be brave, be vul­ner­a­ble, and ac­cept your life as a se­ries of ex­cit­ing op­por­tu­ni­ties,” This ad­vice to preg­nant women weary of so­ci­etal ex­pec­ta­tions comes from Hema Ramkissoon, for­mer host of CNC3’s The Morn­ing Brew.

A well-es­tab­lished, suc­cess­ful mar­ket­ing ex­ec­u­tive, com­mu­ni­ca­tions con­sul­tant, me­dia per­son­al­i­ty, and mo­ti­va­tion­al speak­er with over 20 years of ex­pe­ri­ence in the pub­lic sphere, Hema has shaped na­tion­al con­ver­sa­tions and launched pro­grammes and cam­paigns lo­cal­ly and in­ter­na­tion­al­ly for the ben­e­fit of oth­ers. Hema’s great­est strengths are her cre­ativ­i­ty, her dri­ve, and her pas­sion for life.

For Hema, the year 2023 has changed her tra­jec­to­ry in so many ways. And now she is set to take on yet an­oth­er role, per­haps the most im­por­tant thus far, as she jour­neys in­to moth­er­hood and gets ready to add a new life to this world.

A woman’s jour­ney in­to moth­er­hood is beau­ti­ful and unique, and Hema’s is no dif­fer­ent. WE wel­comed the op­por­tu­ni­ty to get per­son­al with Hema as she nav­i­gates this cru­cial time in her preg­nan­cy.

As a pub­lic fig­ure, news on your per­son­al life in­ad­ver­tent­ly is al­ways part of the pub­lic do­main, tell us how you were able to keep this a se­cret for so long.

“I re­al­ly don’t see my­self as a pub­lic fig­ure. I have al­ways been very pri­vate with my per­son­al life. I guard and pro­tect the things close to my heart from scruti­ny and pub­lic glare jeal­ous­ly. So I think this was no dif­fer­ent. I was shocked to see that the preg­nan­cy pho­tos went vi­ral, and we wel­come the mul­ti­tude of good wish­es that poured in, I’m still amazed by that.”

How did you feel when you re­ceived the news of be­ing preg­nant?

“It was un­ex­pect­ed. I am pret­ty planned, so any­thing that throws my plan off is un­nerv­ing. I think it was a ball of emo­tions, ex­cite­ment, and ner­vous­ness. It took me a while to as­sess what this meant.Be­ing bru­tal­ly hon­est, I took time to ap­pre­ci­ate, ac­cept and un­der­stand how this would change me, my life, and my choic­es. Rezan’s sup­port made this a lot eas­i­er for me to ac­cept all changes. There is a say­ing, ‘We may plan, and then God laughs’, so I am trust­ing in His plans. To­day, I am ex­cit­ed and hope­ful about my new chap­ter, learn­ing a new me.”

What chal­lenges have pre­sent­ed, and how did you cross this bridge?

“This is an in­ter­est­ing ques­tion. My whole life, well for the bet­ter part of the last two decades, I was de­fined by my job ti­tles. I men­tioned I am a plan­ner. I had just fin­ished a six-month con­tract abroad and was ready to start again, but I couldn’t be­cause now this ba­by was on the way. I came back to T&T not re­al­ly sure about my next move, so many peo­ple called me for in­ter­views, and I did a few, and I just was so afraid that dis­clos­ing my preg­nan­cy would hin­der my chances. So, of­ten I would not say it dur­ing job in­ter­views. I am cur­rent­ly con­sult­ing, and I re­mem­ber wait­ing un­til there was no way to hide it be­fore I dis­closed it to my em­ploy­er. It was a re­lief but a sig­nif­i­cant mo­ment of ac­cep­tance for me.

Oprah Win­frey shared, “You can have it all. You just can’t have it all at once.” So­ci­ety puts un­rea­son­able ex­pec­ta­tions on women to bal­ance moth­er­hood and ca­reer life roles. What is your per­spec­tive on this nar­ra­tive?

“You can have it all, but not at the same time. I’m a liv­ing ex­am­ple of that. I’ve learnt life comes in phas­es, and the or­der is dif­fer­ent for every­one. So­ci­ety still loves la­bels and nar­ra­tives that suit a norm. Not all women will have the same path and the same jour­ney. Once you, your be­lief and your in­ner sup­port sys­tems are sat­is­fied, no one can dic­tate your nar­ra­tive.”

One of your many vol­un­teer roles is with the Di­a­betes As­so­ci­a­tion of T&T, hav­ing open­ly shared your fa­ther’s chal­lenges with di­a­betes. Was ges­ta­tion­al di­a­betes on the radar? What pre­cau­tions did you take to avoid this com­pli­ca­tion?

“Yes, it was on the radar. I have lived a dis­ci­plined life on this, I tried to con­tin­ue this, but I still ex­er­cise. Like all preg­nant women, I crave, but I still ex­er­cise re­straint. So, it is one scoop of ice cream and not a tub! I try to walk dai­ly, and I drink a lot of wa­ter. I sur­round my­self with pos­i­tive peo­ple and pos­i­tive things. It’s a mind­set; my au­ra changed when I ac­cept­ed my new life role.”

What were your favourite and least favourite things about be­ing preg­nant?

“I learned a lot about my­self and ac­cep­tance of my body and mind. I’ve learned to be more pa­tient with my­self and with my life. I’m not too fond of the heart­burn, lol.”

Did Rezan (her part­ner) read the book ‘What to Ex­pect When You’re Ex­pect­ing’?

“Lol, no, but I tell him every day what to ex­pect. My OB-GYN, Dr Kalloo, has been a great source of wis­dom, ed­u­cat­ing us on what to ex­pect.”

Ba­by names? Any ideas so far?

“I have two in mind, but we’ll dis­close when the time is right.”

To women who are preg­nant and feel­ing weary of so­ci­etal ex­pec­ta­tions, what is your ad­vice to these moms-to-be?

“Be brave, be vul­ner­a­ble, and ac­cept your life as a se­ries of ex­cit­ing op­por­tu­ni­ties. Cre­ate a sup­port sys­tem, your tribe is part of your strength. Then, once you and your part­ner are aligned with life, a plan and the life you are cre­at­ing, gath­er strength in that!’