Ian K Ramdhanie, MSc,
Principal, CISPS
The future of mankind rests with them. From their tender ages of three to seven for example, we can instil in infants the values we want to see them inculcate. As a society and especially as parents and teachers, we need to do the following with infants.
One, find out the many things that infants will like to do when they grow up. Then, encourage them, within reason, for their achievement. Of course, we should welcome changes in their wishes. Many infants will want to be exciting things when they get older like a superhero, police officer, bus driver, soldier, engineer, deejay, pilot, truck driver, astronaut, fisherman, etc. Once they're positive, encourage them.
Two, find out what may be troubling them at home, school, by the babysitter etc. This may include abuse, bullying, exposure to inappropriate things, eg, bad words, illicit photos and videos on the television, phone and Internet.
The common thread in the above is communication. The parent, guardian, older sibling and teacher must be able to develop that comfortable, free-to-express relationship with infants so that they can tell us both what they want to achieve in life and what is troubling them.
Key is how to create this open environment whereby infants can feel comfortable to communicate with us. Simple but effective strategies must be developed to extract this information from them using their own language skills sets. This must not be any formal interrogation. It can be while playing with your child, going on a drive or walk, chatting on your step or hammock, etc. Find that time and spot where such conversations can take place regularly.
The parent or guardian can initiate the conversations very gently about what goes on in school, during recess and lunch breaks, after school, while watching television by the babysitter, etc. By asking simple specific questions like what do your friends and you do, what type of games do you all play, who is the hero and who is the bad guy, what is usually done to the bad guy, where are these games usually played (inside the classroom, behind the school, inside the washroom, in the bedroom, etc). By probing carefully, important information can be gathered. The tone of your voice and facial expression are important. It cannot suggest the infant will get into trouble for telling you. They must be reassured of this. Don't bribe them with gifts or rewards either for giving you such information as it may have a long term negative effect.
Depending on what was uncovered, appropriate steps must be taken including speaking to the teacher, babysitter, other parents, etc. If necessary, higher level authorities may be contacted depending on the nature of what was discovered. See if you can also corroborate what the infant is telling you. Don't jump to conclusions too quickly but treat all of the information received seriously though. Try also to get this information when the infant is not sleepy, cranky, tired etc, but when they are alert.
On the positive side of talking to infants, we want to expose them to as many careers as possible while growing up. Nowadays, the Internet and cable television perform a good role once infants are exposed to age-appropriate shows. These should be encouraged. Teachers will also read books and tell stories that will stimulate the infants' minds.
Parents and older siblings should also encourage discussions with infants by telling them about various things that people do including their very selves, other family members and neighbours. Parents and older siblings should also read to them, tell them stories and have them listen to us. Their listening to parents will go a long way in the years to come.
Taking children to simple school field trips as well as family-based ones do tremendous things to the mental growth of infants. These include to the zoo, traditional mas camps, steel band practice sites, various cultural and religious events like parang, Ramleela, Hosay, Divali, and explaining things to them in simple language with a positive spin on it. The traditional market, grocery, airport, art galleries and museums (yes there are), concerts, simple dining places, etc, are also activities that can be engaged in.
These things do wonders to infants' imaginations. It also creates opportunities for bonding that is necessary between infant and adult. You will experience a wonderful line of discussions and questioning that will follow.
Remember that when having conversations with infants, it is not an open door for you to manufacture negative experiences of infants that are not there. You should not try to push the infant to tell you something that does not really exist. If a genuine troubling matter exits with the infant, he/she will tell you once they are comfortable and you gently open the gate for the discourse to take place.
In the end, we all want to increase the positives for infants and reduce the negatives. The infants' age is a very formative period for their development that we ought to get right!
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