It was an act which led to a week of shame and regret.
“I know what I did was wrong. I am sorry. I made a mistake,” was the apology from a tearful 33-year-old mother of two who was caught stealing six textbooks valued at $2,150.65 from Mohammed’s Bookstore in Port-of-Spain on July 20.
Speaking on the condition of anonymity to Guardian Media six days after the incident, the woman asked the public to forgive her. She said she stole the books out of desperation, having hit hard times.
She said she was also repentant for what she did.
“Yes, I have regrets because I did something stupid.”
The woman said around noon on Saturday, July 20, she walked into the Henry Street bookstore with $300 to buy stationery for her 11-year-old son who will be entering Standard Five in September.
As she approached the busy counter she noticed a pile of books.
Without thinking, she nervously placed six textbooks into her bag.
“I came out of my mind and came back. I was scared, my hands were shaking.”
It was her first time stealing.
Asked what made her do it, she replied, “The devil. The devil just passed over. It was an act of desperation.”
The woman did not leave the store immediately and was arrested and taken to the municipal police station downtown Port-of-Spain.
Being detained made her feel “sad, disappointed ... everything in one because it was nonsense I did. It should not have happened. My life will end there.”
She also kept thinking about her children.
“It made me realise before you do these things, study your children. How they would cope without you.”
Later that evening she was charged with stealing.
Last Monday, the woman appeared in court, virtually, but was not called upon to plead.
The matter was postponed to October 3.
Since appearing in court, she said she has been unable to eat and sleep.
“I have been uneasy ... unsettled,” she said, showing her trembling hands.
“It has not been easy.”
Wiping away tears as she spoke outside the Queen’s Park Savannah, the mother said the pending court matter has been worrisome.
She said she was hoping for leniency.
But she also asked citizens not to judge her, stating that she has been a good mother to her children despite her hardships.
The woman said she buys second-hand books for her son and was unaware of the Ministry of Education’s school grant.
“I only found out about the grant after my arrest.”
She priced her son’s books and uniform which amounted to $1,800.
The mother said she has been struggling to make ends meet and kitchen cupboards have a few basic food items given to her by Living Waters Community.
She explained there were days she had nothing to eat.
Whenever she gets a cleaning or ironing job she would take it.
The most she would earn is $300 a week.
Her husband who does power washing has loans to pay.
The woman said it was difficult telling her husband what happened which angered him.
Their relationship has now become strained.
Married for five years, the couple also has a five-year-old son.
Soon, the woman said she would talk to her elder son about what she did.
“I am building up the courage. Yesterday, I told him I have to talk to him and he nodded. I don’t know how I am going to tell him.”
She said of all life’s challenges, being dragged before the court was the most difficult she had to face.
“It’s the worst point of my life.”
Her message to other parents struggling to get school books for the new school term is, “Don’t let temptation take yuh. Just pray to God and ask for help if you need it.”