Home­less, job­less, and eight months preg­nant, with a two-year-old daugh­ter un­der her charge, 22-year-old Tim­my Tama­ra Cros­by faces a des­per­ate and bleak fu­ture.

Bur­dened with re­spon­si­bil­i­ty, she faces life alone, won­der­ing if her daugh­ters will ever find sta­bil­i­ty.

Speak­ing with Guardian Me­dia, Cros­by said she tries to stay strong for her ba­bies but lives with the con­stant fear they would end up on the streets. Af­ter she found out she was preg­nant, her re­la­tion­ship end­ed.

Cros­by said hap­pi­ness for her has al­ways been fleet­ing but yet she still had hope that she would some­how change her cir­cum­stances and do bet­ter for her daugh­ter Des­tiny Smith and her un­born daugh­ter.

She said their fa­ther was no longer in her life but he had pro­vid­ed the es­sen­tials that she need­ed to give birth. The ba­by is due at the end of March.

Cros­by said while that chap­ter of her life was over, she still longed for a life free from hurt and wor­ry.

With­out giv­ing de­tails of her re­la­tion­ship, she said all she want­ed to do now was to be the best moth­er she could be for her two daugh­ters.

With her eyes fixed on Des­tiny, Cros­by ca­ressed her ba­by bump whis­per­ing, “I want bet­ter for them. I don’t want my girls to face hard­ship.”

Ex­press­ing grat­i­tude for her younger sis­ter and her broth­er-in-law who have of­fered her tem­po­rary refuge at their two-room house in Princes Town, Cros­by said she knows she has to find a place when the ba­by comes.

“I know I can’t stay here for­ev­er. Every day I wor­ry—where will we go next? I just want my girls to have a roof over their heads, to not live in fear,” she said in a trem­bling voice.

Cros­by said her life has been trou­bled and even as an adult she made poor choic­es. She said her moth­er walked out on them when she was five, leav­ing her fa­ther to raise her and her younger sib­lings, aged four and three. With­out a moth­er’s guid­ance, they all strug­gled in school.

“My dad­dy tried his best to send us to school. I know he did his best but hon­est­ly, I couldn’t take on books. There was no one to help me with home­work. A neigh­bour helped some­times, but it wasn’t enough for me to do well,” she said. She made it to Form Three at Princes Town East Sec­ondary and then trans­ferred to Bar­rack­pore East Sec­ondary where she made it to Form Five. But like her moth­er, Cros­by dropped out and nev­er sat for her Caribbean Sec­ondary Ex­am­i­na­tion Cer­tifi­cate (CSEC) ex­ams.

“I just didn’t go. I wasn’t pre­pared. At that time, I just felt school wasn’t for me,” she re­called.

Short­ly af­ter leav­ing school, she formed a friend­ship with her neigh­bour’s broth­er, which led to the birth of her first daugh­ter.

“Life was sweet for a lit­tle over a year,” Cros­by re­called. “But then things went bad and I got preg­nant again. I had enough of the quar­relling and ar­gu­ments so two months ago I left with my ba­by and came to stay with my sis­ter,” she said sad­ly.

Now, with an­oth­er child on the way and no per­ma­nent place to call home, Cros­by said she was haunt­ed by re­grets.

“Peo­ple may judge me for my choic­es,” she said, “but I nev­er want­ed this life for my daugh­ters. I just want bet­ter for them.” She said her dream was to be­come ei­ther a nurse or a hair­dress­er.

She al­so re­called how her fa­ther told her to study in school and do bet­ter for her­self. Now with her re­spon­si­bil­i­ties, Cros­by wants the pub­lic not to judge her but to help her so her chil­dren will have a bet­ter life.

“I don’t need much,” she added soft­ly. “Just a chance—a chance to give my girls what I nev­er had. I do peo­ple’s hair but I have no train­ing in it,” she added.

She said her daugh­ter Des­tiny was play­ful and bright and would start school soon. Cros­by said she hoped to fol­low suit—re­turn to the class­room, sit her ex­ams, and pur­sue her dream of be­com­ing a nurse or a hair­dress­er.

Now that she had reached the edge of des per­a­tion, Cros­by al­so had ad­vice to give to oth­er young women.

“My ad­vice to oth­er young peo­ple is don’t rush in­to any­thing. Don’t go with no man just like that. It might seem nice at first, but af­ter­wards, it’s not worth it,” she said. She said she nev­er imag­ined that she would be liv­ing the same un­sta­ble life that her moth­er en­dured. It’s a cy­cle she wants to break for her two daugh­ters.

“If we could have some help to build up a two-room house on the land my fa­ther gave me, I would be able to get my life back in or­der. I’m young and I want to do bet­ter. I want to get a job and pro­vide for my chil­dren. Just please, give me a chance for my girls,” she added.

Any­one want­i­ng to help Cros­by with build­ing ma­te­ri­als can call 301-9888.