Joy to the world. It’s finally come.
Watch ‘em, unwrap the gifts!
Let every mouth, prepare for food.
Forget this COVID thing,
Go beach, mask off, and swim.
Forget, forget…this COVID thing.
Well, only briefly.
The social distancing life and scent limits boundaries—you smell it, you too close. Virtual dealing: dealmaker if you photogenic; dealbreaker, if you have bedhead and the backdrop, is the dog tearing up the laundry basket.
Social distancing put the squeeze on pickpocketing. But grocery prices social distanced those slippery plastic dollars from grasp. People studying price tag like exams. But Pricesmart still full.
Yes kids, five-dollar buys are now Page 954 of the history books under “Once upon a time…”
Anyway, ham and turkey today is just too much meat. COVID—another reason why choonks dangerous. Luckily there were plenty meaty antics to laugh/scream/give the finger to.
PM hit we an F word! Furlough.
Unions including police for vaccination but against “forced”. Former Police Commissioner complaining to Police Complaints Authority about lack police action on matters concerning an ex-Police Service Commissioner.
Dear Santa probably went nuts this year. Here’s what’s salvaged from Clausfedup@NP.com:
• “Boss, after December 6 I no longer want a red nose,” Your boy, Rudolph. (Request denied due to potential trademark infringement)
• “Your Worship you cannot amend the Santa clauses with mandatory Toy Factory vaccination! We ent pelting big stone except remember green and yellow don’t make red. We have court clothes. What you have? A red suit??! (Request denied. We know we future ded. What’s yours: vaccinate or cremate?)
• “Santa, Make T&T’s flag red, yellow and green now. Your 16,932 PDP chirren, 14 UNC attorneys and a partridge in a pear tree, (Denied—objection from Jamaica. And Rasta City)
• “Sir, we now have to change every Christmas decoration from red to green... Oh God!!!!.“ 11,943 Tobago PNMites” (Granted following bawling)
“Well yes. After a whole year of donkey logic, janjat and kankatang you still let them jack*** mih scene??! If they bulifay out, they on they own. Lemme enjoy mih farm. I want a new squad a sheep.” KccR. (Unavailable. It’s ham season)
• “Hats off for my boys inside, outside, and offside bringing it together! Nigel Henry, check yourself, your maths wasn’t mathsin.” KpbB X (Hats dependent on size of egos, sorry heads)
• “That big sack of information you bringing me, look ting. My LLB degree ent have anything to do with Angostura,” Al Wary (Sign here... )
• “I want Tobago to do a Brexit and leave Trinidad. Watty son,” (Request denied. Why you want Tobago to be known as Toxic?)
• “Claus, you had problems getting things… up after your vaccine?” Calvin. (Sales high Big man in the 90 per cent vaccinated energy sector ent complaining.)
• “SCI don’t need your confidence, I already own excessive amounts plus bombshell info. But I miss my cute combat uniforms and giving orders. Even my Rotts refusing to s**t. Any chance? Anywhere? COP elections even? Regards, your Best Man (See 2022)
• “Can’t we get a virus with a normal name??? Everything sounding like a Walking Dead badboy or Suicide Squad escapee – Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta, Omicron. Jeez” Super Terry (Request forwarded to WHO.)
• Good luck with your list, Santa, Mine was a dud. This year was not… bliss.” (Filed Under “Never Again.”)
• Santa, the appreciation never reach so bring double salary for triple vaxxed who working like dog from home 24-7 since March 2020. Your boy, Nobody.” (On it!).
• “Roadmap to Recovery 2 for my Government friends. It worked. For us because they get loss with dat map! - Oropouche Dave“ (Copies unavailable)
• Ah back from US with COVID. Real lapse man, have to also tell my partners in that Central bar, stupidity ent a medically treatable condition,” C Gasp.— (Oho)