LAURA DOWRICH-PHILLIPS
My 16-month-old calls me Daddy. He says bye, hi and banana, but for nothing would he say Mummy, Mum, Mama, Ma...nada, nutten. One Facebook friend chastised me when I lamented publicly about this, and said I should be grateful that the child even bothers to call me. "He is a man, what does he know?" Another friend says he is doing it on purpose. I am more inclined to believe that, since every time I try to get him to say "Mummy", he watches me, smiles and blurts out "daddy." The kid's got a sense of humour. Look, after nine months, induced labour thanks to high blood pressure, and an exorbitant doctor's bill, the child could at least give me some more credit.
I earned it.
What did Daddy do, besides, well, you know, planting the seed and remembering all the crap I was yapping while high on drugs in the labour room? Misery likes company so of course I Googled to see how many other miserable mums were out there. There are lots. One woman quoted in Today's Parent said she felt like got punched in the gut every time her toddler called her Dada. Yup, I can totally relate. Even fashion designer Rachael Zoe had the same problem.
"They always say, 'Dada,' first and I don't know what that is. It's like someone is punishing us for something. We carry them, we push them out and they say, 'Dada?' I'm still trying to figure this out." Now don't get me wrong, I know my baby loves me and I know it's me he wants to be with when he taps my arm, smiles lovingly into my eyes and calls me daddy but it's a bit of blow when you wait for your child's first words only to realise your title is at the lower end of the totem pole, if at all.
I mean, banana is like three syllables, yet he aced that in one go. Someone suggested it could be that he hardly hears anyone calling me around the house. Could be, since I am the one who spends more time with them on any given day so when daddy comes home, it's like Santa Claus visiting, every other word is daddy and no one remembers me till it's time to eat.
People say daddy is just easier for toddlers to say but I did my research and the jury seems to be out on that theory. An article on the topic on Yahoo Parenting says "classic theories by the Russian linguist Roman Jakobson found that the sound of "m" (for "mama") is easier for babies to make because they tend to do so when their mouths are fastened to a bottle or breast."
Another doctor, Breyne Moskowitz, PhD, however, disputed that, stating that nasal sounds such as "m" are actually more difficult and that between the ages of four and six months, infants start babbling as a way to test their articulatory skills. "Therefore they are more likely to utter the sound "da" because doing so doesn't require him or her to force air through the nose," the article said. So, it reasons, that the child may not be calling me Daddy to get my goat. Poor thing is just saying what comes naturally. So for the time being I will ignore the fact he says banana and respond with a smile when he calls me daddy. I just hope daddy is the only name he calls when he's ready to borrow the car.